Friday, May 27, 2005

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream...

...perchance to fuck Sergei's brains out.

Perchance?

No '-chance' about it, Sergei will be good and proper fucked by the time the holiday weekend is over.

My post yesterday was a little, oh, how should I say it...scattered? I was SO tired, y'all. I did go to bed before Midnight last night, so the possibility of 6 hours of sleep was there. But then my sweet sexy Sergei came to bed at whatever time and ravished me up and down and sideways and frontways, and I did miss out on a bit of sleep.

TOTALLY worth it.

'Cause sex with that man is like going to DisneyWorld and they have new rides all the time, and they pull out the old ones you remembered from long ago that need revisiting, and there's lots of yelling and sweating and 'whoot-whoot!' hands in the air and "vroom...splash!' the log ride rolls into the spray and you go "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" and collapse laughing.

But I don't need to buy no $50 ticket to ride Sergei.

I just have to hold on reeeeeeally tight.

Ahem.

I plan on three things this weekend: sex, sleep, and food. I may crush Dr. Atkin's little fatty heart by drinking (gasp!) some alcohol this weekend. I've learned, finally, as a grownup, to buy expensive alcohol. Tastes better, mixes better, cleaner buzz. So a little something-on-the-rocks will go down mighty easy.

And I have a nagging feeling that I'll be writing some sort of sexy post soon. Big Monkey Rob has been posting on the Female Orgasm, which really got me all wet with research horniness. Truly. I read his latest article and started making notes and questions and the old research-hog in me took over, so I'll probably write my own little thingy. Perhaps Sergei can help me narrow down aspects of the female orgasm.

Right as I was falling asleep last night (the first time, pre-oh-baby-oh-baby-sex), I tried to narrow down the types of female orgasm I knew just from personal experience: vaginal, clitoral, anal (yes, really), back and neck and arms and shoulders (separate? same? not sure?), and a little ditty I call 'hands-free fantasy' orgasm. (With a good fantasy, and a little Kegel-inspired cooter fluttering, I can create an orgasm whilst driving, typing, sitting in boring meetings...all hands free. The orgasm has a stifling aspect, natch, and I have to wipe the chair off afterwards, but....) So exploration is definitely necessary.

I'm off now like my pajamas at bedtime. Good Weekend to y'all! Drive safe!

13 Comments:

At 4:46 PM, Blogger Maine said...

I've given the anal orgasm before. It helps if you know how to work the correct wall...

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger Avatar said...

//With a good fantasy, and a little Kegel-inspired cooter fluttering, I can create an orgasm whilst driving, typing, sitting in boring meetings...all hands free.//

Sheesh. You braggart. ;-)

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger Sergei C. said...

THAT my friends, is the secret to getting a reputation as good lover - hook up with a woman who cums all the time, no matter what you do.

 
At 5:20 PM, Blogger Sergei C. said...

"a" good lover, rather. And sorry about not letting you sleep last night, hon - I forgot how tired you were. Of course, I would've done the same things, even if I'd known . . . .

 
At 6:54 PM, Blogger Orange said...

You forgot the in-your-dreams, 99%-asleep orgasm.

 
At 8:13 PM, Blogger Pisser said...

What Avatar said!

I've heard the hoo-hoo dilly gets more sensitive after childbirth. Disturbing, yet true...?

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger Rob Helpy-Chalk said...

nd a little ditty I call 'hands-free fantasy' orgasm. (With a good fantasy, and a little Kegel-inspired cooter fluttering, I can create an orgasm whilst driving, typing, sitting in boring meetings...all hands free. The orgasm has a stifling aspect, natch, and I have to wipe the chair off afterwards, but....)

Holy shit, woman, how do you get anything done?

 
At 10:17 PM, Blogger Becka said...

This is why I could never be a man. I'd never stop playing with myself ;)

 
At 11:30 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Maine: I always suspected you had 'the touch'! A good man is hard to find. And a hard man is good to find.

Avatar: I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, I'm awfully distracted most of the...uh...most of the...hey, are those donuts??

Sergei: Sorry it took me so long to wake up. It seemed like the world's sexiest dream, and then, poof! There you were!

Orange: YES! I'll add that to my list. (Can girls still call them 'wet dreams'? Or more like 'slightly moist dreams'?)

Pisser: Once you've been through three straight days of labor, it's amazing you can feel *anything* anymore. But yes, I think it's true. Hell yeah!

Rob: It's like having a constant erection. I'm sure you know the feeling. How do YOU get work done?

Becka: Yeah! Just once I'd like to experience the..."oh...OH...*splat splat splat* thing."

 
At 1:44 PM, Anonymous Bob Koepp said...

Mona - if you'd like to experience the..."oh...OH...*splat splat splat* thing," YOU CAN! A little bit of Tantra will get your and Sergei's #2 chakras synchronized, and each of you will feel just what your partner feels. It gives new meaning to the notion of "one flesh."

 
At 3:17 PM, Blogger Cecil B. said...

Just don't let the kids find out. It's awful traumatizing.

 
At 12:48 AM, Blogger Avatar said...

Also, I noticed your link to Mike Doughty's blog. Your ratings (in my eyes, anyway) just shot way the hell up.

 
At 11:53 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Cecil: I try to keep the screaming down to a low roar, but it's damn hard.

Avatar: Hey! Glad you like the Doughty-man too, he's sweet and hot and makes me all gooshy. And BTW, I blogrolled you today and WHAT THE HELL took me so long? Was I on drugs? Uh...I plead the Fifth on that one.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home