Monday, May 11, 2009

SNL Loves Yer Mom


Wednesday, May 06, 2009


Sorry my posts here have been Tweeting. Will update soon.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

I Want My Homme

Yesterday’s shitty morning had me grabbing for relief…which I found in Josh Homme, and Queens of the Stone Age. Played their stuff relentlessly yesterday, fell asleep with lyrics stuck in and spinning my brain like a Spirograph, and woke up this morning with their taste on my tongue. Since some bastard somewhere isn’t letting me embed the video I really wanted to show you, I’m opting with the next best thing…QotSA live with Polly Jean in the Desert Sessions set. This song get me moist every time (and it doesn’t hurt that the lead singer reminds me more than a little of a ginger version of my own sexy Sergei…I took the leap and added Josh to the Fantasy Boyfriend List, in a permanent position).


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Who else thinks Mike Doughty should just go full bore and shave his head?

Found this. Love it. Love Mike.

Sasquatch and S3x

Boy-child finished up 6th grade Reproductive Health lessons. Last night during tuck-in, I asked him (in a seemingly non-caring, non-pressuring way, ever-striving to be the open-minded, cool parent), what they learned.

"Well, we talked about peer pressure, and how everyone grows at their own pace. And how everyone goes through awkward stages. And we role-played, like this one guy had to stand in class and give a report, but he had, uh, a wet spot on his front, and how he handled it, stuff like that. Oh, and we saw pictures."


"Yeah. Of p3nises and stuff, and girl parts. They were just drawings, though."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. The girls parts though? They were hairy! It was like Sasquatch! Oh my god! I can't believe anyone could have that much hair down there!"

Fortunately for me it was dark, and Boy-child couldn't see my shitty grin. Or read my thoughts, which went something like, "Oh just you wait, boy, just have NO idea."

"Sasquatch", Tenacious D (the F-word is in there somewhere, so beware):

Monday, March 09, 2009

Sweet Sexy Stevie Wonder

I was weaned on Motown and 70s funk. I still love the stuff. Sexy stuff. This morning on the Muzak at work, Stevie Wonder popped up, and I didn’t even have to reach for the words…”I’d like to see both of us/fall deeply in love/I’d like to see you in the raw/under the stars above.”

Two things hit me, allatonce:

1) Daaaamn, Stevie! That’s some sexy shit right there!
2) Daaaamn, Stevie! I’ll bet you’d like to see ANYTHING! (Is that rude? Probably rude. But he’s blind since birth, people…how wonderful would it be to have your first image be that of a beautiful naked lady under the stars?)

I could go on and on and on about this man, his connection to my home state, his influence, his sexyness. But instead I’ll leave you with these:

Boogie On Reggae Woman, a pretty terrif mashup of 70s female empowerment + t&a (I totally want to be Raquel Welsh):

Superstition (in the words of one commenter, “this song always makes me want to make love to the nearest person to me”...yeah, it gets me moist.)

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Oh good lord, Maynard, where the hell have I been? I hope I didn’t alarm you too much by my last frantic post, but it was a hellova time.

Sergei was sick with pneumonia and pleurisy the entire month of January, and spent the majority of those days in hospital. Which was scary. Really scary. There were days when I didn’t think he’d ever come home. Days when I questioned the authority of the doctors and their ability to make timely decisions. Times when I had to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep the tears away from the kids, who were equally scared to see their darling dad hooked up to machines and IVs, weak and pale and unable to get a good breath. Thank the gods that we had a kick-ass family doctor who brought in a team (TEAM) of infectious disease doctors, and involved half the pulmonary staff, and who was at the hospital every day checking on Sergei and ordering tests that the other doctors didn’t think “necessary”. He made all the difference. I think I need to send him a nice fruit basket. Gradually things got better for Sergei, after they made him a Human Pincushion with IVs and treatments, tests that never did show the specific bacteria that caused the disease, and a myriad of antibiotics and tubes in his lungs and procedures that made all my hospital stays for childbirth and girly surgery seem like High Tea with the Queen. Sergei is still getting over it, but is clearly nearly back to his randy old self.

Since then, several other friends and acquaintances of mine have come down with pneumonia…brutal and debilitating. Next year, I swear, my entire family is getting the pneumonia shot. I don’t ever. EVER. Want to do to that again.

What else?

Girl-child’s birthday was the end of January, and last weekend we had her Birthday Party sleepover with some of her friends. The cloud of potential-estrogen hung heavy in the air. Sergei and Boy-child sequestered themselves upstairs with Playstation2 and food. I realized that my girl and her friends are definitely Alpha Girls. Yeah, her teenage years will be fun.

What else?

I fell in love with “Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy” all over again.

I loathed, then admired, then added to my Fantasy Boyfriend List, Finn cum German Stefan from Top Chef Season 5. How arrogant. How cocky. How talented. That man can peel my eel any time. He nearly got voted off last night, but lived to make it to the Final Four. Verdammte ScheiBe, Stefan!

I realized how wonderful having medical insurance is.

And how lucky I am to have family and friends checking on us, even though I related the same “How’s Sergei” status several dozen times a day.

I realized that I missed this bloggy place, even though my posts have been dwindling in general these last few months, I’ve missed having a place for me.

And that I love Bacon, and would marry it, especially if it gave me a donut as an engagement ring.

Stefan's Got the Mad Eel Skillz:

Friday, January 09, 2009

The Mysterious Disappearance of Mona Buonanotte

Hey all…I trust you had an awesome and fun Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Solstice/New Years. Let me just clue you as to where I’ve been:

1) Death in the family
2) Another death in the family
3) Workload at the office that would choke a team of sturdy, well-bred horses
4) Christmas…buying and wrapping and scheming for our family, my siblings and parents, 3 sets of inlaws, and several dozen teachers, instructors, and sports helpers
5) Stomach flu – GirlChild and me, right before Christmas, out of commission 4 days
6) I totally missed blogging BoyChild’s birthday in early December…Bad Momma
7) Snow day…screwed up last day of school parties
8) Company lunch/White Elephant
9) 5 Christmas celebrations. FIVE. Yeah, tha’s right.
10) Sister-in-law birthday
11) Attempting to bake something festive
12) Back to school, work, wah-wah-ing all the way
13) Sergei in and out and in hospital. Something about lungs, heart, infection, nodule, blood tests, CT scan, specialists, Vicodin. He’s back in, we’re still waiting, would appreciate good juju sent our way, but don’t freak out.

Tell me something good that's happened to you and I will live vicariously through you.