Monday, May 16, 2005

Hands on the Car, Feet Apart...Spread 'Em

Last night I dreamt of cops.

Sexy cops.

Not a donut-eater among the bunch.

I popped in a movie right before I went to bed. "Evenhand." A good little movie, I would recommend if you can find it (I had to buy it online, no video store carried it, so good luck to ya). The two main characters played the opposite ends of the cop spectrum...the hard-ass rule-bending cop vs. the sweet, rule-obeying cop. They had my favorite street-cop look...broad shoulders, tapering down to a solid waist, nice uniformed butts. Not that I've really had a thing for cops, and if I had my druthers, all cops would look like Chris Noth from the first few seasons of 'Law & Order'. BUT. If I had to choose a patrolling cop, a cop who would stop me and give me a warning about a broken headlight, it would be the broad-shouldered cop.

We have a few of them around here. When I tried to bust the speeding red Saab/Audi, the cop I spoke with at the gas station was the typical patrol-guy. But much, much cuter than what's on your average tv show or movie. So...yum for me!

In my dream, getting back to that, there were a bunch of cops. Something had happened and I needed to report...something. One of the cops gave me a ride back to the station where we were met by other cops. I was taken to an interview room and questioned, but not in a threatening way. I realized at some point that I was being flirted with. First by the cop that gave me the ride in, then by other cops that came into the room. So I flirted back.

They fingered their handcuffs.

I winked back.

And yes, gentle readers, there was a cop-orgy right then and there on the interviewing table with me as 'Queen Bee' directing traffic and demanding to see their weapons. So to speak.

I woke up an hour before my alarm, but too tired and too set with the 'Red Aunt' to take advantage of Sergei's sleeping form. So I went back to sleep. And had yet another cop dream.

This time, I was on a pier in New Jersey, just like every other episode of 'Law & Order' (I'm NOT obsessed with that had good locations, though). I was surrounded by cops, but of all shapes and sizes. All wearing those insulated cop jackets 'cause it was a cold spring morning. And we were just chatting, chatting, like I was a cop.

Then I realized all the cops were bloggers, and I was finally able to put faces with the names. Which was weird. And I didn't know if I was in for another orgy or not. But I sure didn't rule it out. Then my alarm went off and the cops melted into the ether.

So now I'm sitting here with my morning jolt of coffee thinking about my lover pushing me gently against a wall, forcing my hands up, cuffing them, and letting him frisk me. And whatever else he wants to do.

How the HELL am I gonna get any work done today?

"Strip search? Yes, sir, officer, sir...."


At 9:47 AM, Blogger Maine said...

Wow. Let me go find my blue uniform.

Although cops aren't allowed to have blogs in VA. They're pretty strict about it.

At 10:04 AM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Maine, maybe you could just regale me with some cop words and phrases...y'know, to use in future dreams and such. Wanna read me my Miranda rights? ;-)

At 10:18 AM, Blogger Orange said...

Move over, "Cop Rock." Make way for "Cop Blog"! (In your dreams, anyway.)

At 12:14 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

I want to be a cop.

so that I can seduce young men in exchange for not writing them tickets...yummmmmm!! I love being a woman who is a dirty old man. so much easier to get away with, than for men.

At 3:33 AM, Blogger Okapi said...

I'd have to say that the police in Scotland just don't have the same sort of aura that American cops do.

Firemen now, that's a whole different thing.


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