Sweet Juicy Globes o' Goodness

Boys like boobies.

Just wanted to get that out of the way.

Boys...at any age...instinctively are drawn to boobies. The gay ones, too.

It must be some reverse-penis-envy thing. Y'always want what ya don't got. I want a penis so I can aim to pee, and to see how weird it is when your dick sits straight up just 'cause you see a halfway decent pair of female legs.

That would be so fucking cool!

At least for a while.

The boy-child's second grade class had a field trip this morning that I chaperoned. They're studying plant life, and went to a local supermarket for a look at fruits and veggies, armed with lists of questions to answer (e.g., "What's a flower that we eat?"). We all had a great time, basically took over that whole end of the store, but no one there seemed to mind.

Whilst looking for 'Plants we eat raw', boy-child and his classmate, "V", happened by an endcap full of cantaloupes and honeydews.

I swear this is what happened:

They stopped in front of the melons.
Their eyes glazed over like a box of Krispy Kremes.
Their hands reached out...ever...so...s.l.o.w.l.y....
Their fingertips touched the smooth skin of the honeydews, and their boyish bodies were drawn closer to the display.
They rubbed their hands over the mountains of melons.
Big shit-eating grins spread over their faces.
They both said, almost in unison, and like they had just found a mountain of sweet sweet candy, "Thiiiiiiiiis is my faaaaaaaavorite fruuuuuuuit!"

I had to cover my mouth with both hands to keep from spit-laughing.

They noted the color, size, and texture of the melon on their charts, and were very hesitant to leave that area.

"C'mon guys, we gotta find "Plants whose roots we eat!"

No movement from the boys.

"Come. On. Now!"

I steered them toward a mountain of mushrooms and held up a package of portobello caps..."See how big THESE are?!? Look over here! No, not at the melons. Over Here!"

On the way back to the school on the bus, the boy-child snuggled next to me. Now, this is the kid who won't even let me KISS him goodbye at the school, for fear his friends will see. If I even bend down like I'm contemplating a kiss, he pulls his entire body away like he's covered in honey and I have a box o' bees.

But today, he pulled in close and lay his cheek on the front of my shoulder, such that the only comfortable way for us both to sit is if I put my arm around him. Which, of course, let him be even closer to the food source of his earliest days. He pretended to be asleep.

And he had that shit-eating grin on his face.

Hooray for boobies!!!