Got My Mojo Woi-kin'

'S one-a those days when I'm behind before I start. I sent my beloved Sergei a list of what's going on this week, and it's a ka-doozy. I don't know if I'm looking forward to it or not. There's a feeling of accomplishment when I get through weeks like this, but it's bloody exhausting. Grrrch.

So now to the news:

1) You'll notice, gentle readers, that I finally got off my lazy ass and added links (see right), and so sorry for me being such a doofus, and thanks for your patience. I may have missed some...I prolly did...I'll catch them as you kick my ass and tell me. Please, tell me. I have cotton balls for brains today, it seems.

2) I also added a new blog and link to the right. Cherry Stem Knots. (Hands up, all those who can do this? In your mouth, not using your hands? Anyone?) Not much there right now, but it's earmarked for writing stuff I discovered under my panties this weekend. I bought new panties, was throwing out the hole-i-est old ones, and found some stuff I think I want to put a beat-down on. Work on 'em, see if they come up to something. So they will morph before your very eyes! Some will suck! Some will not! Witness the angst of writers block and manic editing! Gasp in horror as the past conquests of Mona Buonanotte become public! I'll also use that site for some ideas I have on, er, um, sexual topics that I want to isolate. So there's at least a 'heads-up'.

3) Dental insurance sucks. I just wanna say that before I have to justify my recent root canal/infection story to MetLife so they pay their fair share. C'mon, really, my face is swelled up like that guy in 'Mask', like John Merrick, like that bug-bite guy on the commercial I saw this weekend. And you DON'T think I need a second opinion when my regular dentist says, "Oh, THAT'S normal." Ya don't think so? Bitch? Yeah. Thought so.

4) I'm starting Atkins again today. I lost a hellova lotta weight on it a few years ago. Hellova. And I won't tell you how much because the phrase 'Big Fat Cow' will not leave your head when you come to my blog. I'm not kidding. Suffice it to say, though, that my body is perfectly suited to Atkins. My previously-gestational-diabetic metabolism whacks out when carbs enter the picture. So I've let myself whack out this last year or so and now I'm feeling like a sumo. Without the cool diaper-thing or braid.

5) Made a HUGE discovery about my body last week. I'd had a lovely salad for lunch, veggies and meat and cheese, and I was STUFFED. Really stuffed. Then a co-worker came around with leftover box lunches from an onsite manager meeting. Ham sand, chips, potato salad, cookie. I only wanted half a cookie. So my friend, Jim, said he'd split the box lunch with me, I'd get half the cookie. Which was all I really wanted. Then Jim co-erced me (okay, it didn't take much) to take half the ham sand. Lovely, greasy ham...mmmm.... I was just gonna take the ham off and eat that, ya see. But first I ate the half a cookie. To top off my belly fulla salad. And then the most amazing thing happened. As soon as I finished that last bite of cookie...VOILA!! I wasn't full at all. Not at ALL. And I scarfed down that entire half ham sand, not just the ham, but the bread and veggies and I licked the crumbs off my plate. And I was terribly hungry again.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Sugar turns off my 'Full' reflex. FUCK!!! And FUCK!!! again!

6) I can no longer eat sugar, it seems. I'm cryin' inside, people, just bawling.

7) All I can think of is dark chocolate M&Ms. (sniff)

8) Talking myself into meat! glorious meat! cheese! eggs! pork rinds! sugar free jello! whipped cream! salad! broccoli! tuna! yes! Who needs chocolate? NOT ME! No sirree bob, not me! I'm great! I'm fantastic! I'm...I'm...$#*(@$*@#&@&!!!