Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Crazy as in Frantic (and possibly the other way)

I'm a maniac today. All run-run-run, no time. Coupla things that struck me this morning:

1) My daughter finding rhyming words and coming up with this string, "bunny, funny, cunny!". And how a blog I read recently had a lovely bawdy dirty poem using the word 'cunny' as replacement*nt. So my daughter's comments reminded me of that dildo at the shop with bunny ears that makes me laugh. So much for rhyming!

2) Another misogynistic pope? Urgh. Glad I'm not Catholic. Pissed I'm not Catholic so I can plan 'upheaval from within'.

3) I have to flesh out this idea, but I think I have the answer to unwanted pregnancies.... It involves the man responsible for the pregnancy, surgery, hormone injections, and giving birth through his penis. It's all about parity, people.

4) There are now 12 (TWELVE!!!) food pyramids. The fuck? The old one was WAY flawed, c'mon, 6-11 servings of breads and cereals a day? Wonder why we're obese, USDA motherfuckers? Do ya?!?!? When I was in school they had a program geared for kids called "Mulligan Stew" with the chant "4! 4! 3! 2! That's the formula for me and you!" 4 breads and cereals, 4 fruits and veggies, 3 meat/protein, 2 milk. Pretty simple! And we were NOT FAT THEN!!!

I'm sweating like a mo-fo, have to plan a school board presentation for tomorrow night, and I have a stress headache and forgot to eat breakfast...again. On the flip side, my son let me kiss him goodbye this morning at school in front of his friends! OMG! And my daughter took her teacher's hand this morning and gladly let me leave! And my darling Sergei was SO sexy this morning I wanted to crawl inside his skin and nuzzle him for the rest of the day.

Fuck. And I have to make cookies and brownies for a work thing tomorrow. Jeebus, does the madness EVER END??


At 5:05 PM, Blogger Pisser said...

1. BWAHAHAH! It's things like this that make me almost like evil spawn ;)

And incidentally, I once found a record of dirty Renaissance (?) ballads in my GRANDFATHER's record collection...about every 3rd word was "cunny". I can only hope that someone "gifted" him with this, and that he didn't buy it for himself o_0

And that I find it when I go home, so I can send it to you and your hubby!

Turn the food pyramid on it's head...that's my diet. Hand over the brownies and no one gets hurt.

At 8:32 PM, Blogger Orange said...

My little boy likes to come up with triplets of rhyming words, but he hasn't hit on that combo yet. If he does, I sincerely hope my husband's there to hear it.

Waiting for your list of five freebie lays. Once yours is out there, Sergei will have to share his too.

At 10:16 AM, Blogger Elysia said...

What is a list of freebie lays?

At 4:31 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Freebie lays are the 5 (or whatever number you choose) 'Fantasy' boyfriends or girlfriends that, if they come to your door and say, "Hey baby, let's go to my hotel room and get nekked", your spouse/significant other HAS to let you go. All night. And they have to watch the kids and stuff.

It's the 'Sheah, like THAT'LL ever happen' scenario. It can't be anyone you know in real life.

I have 5, but only 4 standard ones. My fifth one is a 'floater' that changes at my whim. Sergei thinks this is cheating, but I told him HE could do it, too.

I'm in flux with number 5, someone waiting in the wings, I have to fantasize about him first (I need a little 'shower time') so I can see if he fits the bill.


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