Buffalo Bill's Defunct
In 'Silence of the Lambs', the character Buffalo Bill would prance around his bedroom naked, and try on the suit he made of human female skin. Okay, yeah, I can hear y'all retching now, that was pretty gross. And every time I see that actor (he's in "Monk" playing the boss, and has the sexiest voice this side of Tim Curry), I can only picture him naked, 'tucked', and with the fluid dancers movements only since seen in the cast of 'The Adventures of Pricilla, Queen of the Desert.'
Why, why, WHY am I bringing this up? Because it finally hit me this morning that, as a woman, since puberty, I and a great number of my fellow gender have been doing the same thing. Trying on different skins. Which one am I today? Am I fat/thin/just right? Am I professional/boho/slob? Am I high maintenance or am I granola? We flipflop depending on what we're doing, where we're going, how much baby poop or soccer mud is on us, how much is in our bank account, and how many pounds of fluid we're retaining.
AND THAT'S FINE.
The thing is, I realized today that I'm finally, goddammit, FINALLY comfortable in my skin. Or various skins, as it were. I've grown to a point where I simply DON'T CARE what most people think of me if they see me on the street. (And, let's be honest, we're all just so fucking sexy anyway!) Last weekend I went to the store with sweats on and no makeup. Did I freak out, like I would have in my younger days? HELL NO!!! Last night I went to a pre-school board meeting with sweats, lip gloss, and a stack of obsessive notes. There were 10 or so moms there, and one dad. The dad wore a nice shirt and pants. The moms? We wore sweatshirts, Birkenstocks, bike clips and exhausted countenances. And we were FINE. The skins we had finally fit.
I like being part of that club, the Buffalo Bills who finally fit in their female skins. Of course, without the 'tucking the penis' part. Ouch, that would pretty much suck, I think.