I Wouldn't Say I'm MISSING It, Bob!!
Didja ever see 'Office Space'? Brilliant chunk of movie, especially for all us cube-dwellers who rage. I feel like I'm trapped in that movie. Without even the sexy every-man sensibilities of that uber-cute Ron Livingston to at least create a 'quickie-up-against-the-wall' sort of diversion.
Why, why, WHY is it that managers, board members, and top brass are hired seemingly because they had a lobotomy that removed the 'reasonable and rational' lobe? (No offense to other lobotomy patients, who really need it to calm those pesky inner voices.)
WHY is it that presenting a number, like this number I presented last night, "You will LOSE $250,000 if you do this project!", is met with a sort of hand-on-the-penis stare and, after a beat, gets this response back, "Hoo-kay, thanks, SO, when are we gonna get this project started? Oh, and by the way, I'm gonna need to you come in on Saturday, okay? That'd be great, thanks."
Well, thank you, Mr. Short Fucking Attention Span.
Didja not just hear me???
YOU. WILL. LOSE. MONEY.
YOU. ARE. A. TEAKETTLE. FULL. OF. PISS.
YOU. HAVE. THE. IQ. OF. A. POTATO.
YOU. SHOULD. GET. A. JOB. SWEEPING. COW. SHIT.
(No offense to those who DO sweep cow shit, for that is a damn nasty job and I thank you for all your efforts. Now get back to work.)
We need ANARCHY, people! We need to get the idiots outta here and ship them to, oh, I dunno, Iceland or something. (No offense to the inhabitants of Iceland, we will gladly do a 1:1 trade...and, heck, we'll throw in a tube of polygrip so's you can glue their mouths shut.)
I'd talk more, but I have to go make a shiv from an old stapler. I have a meeting with the Operations Manager this morning and she wants this project done....
I'm not sure if this link will work (I'm blowing Sergei this weekend and in exchange he'll show me more blogging tips), but go here for more little spitwads of work inspiration.