Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Sleep or Sex?

Sergei is turning Buddhist, I think he's turning Buddhist, I really think so.

Which is cool and fine with me, I like the tolerance inherent in it, we have soft cushions for meditation, and some really fine incense. It reminds me of reading 'Siddhartha' and feeling like I wanted to walk the earth, like Caine in 'Kung-Fu', wearing a loin-cloth and sitting under willow trees. 'S nice.

The added bonus that Sergei brought in last night is tantric sex. At least that's the term that comes to mind. Dunno if it's tantric or not, but I know it was not the typical in-out-in-out (not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that, I mean, please!!! I love hot sex over the dryer while the kids are playing upstairs!!! Bring it on!) But I do know that last night, there were things done and positions accomplished that I've never experienced before. Very explorative. I laughed, I cried, better than "Cats"!!! Actually, there WAS quite a bit of laughing at the end, not in the 'It's so small!' or 'Did you fart?' way that inexperienced lovers do. We just couldn't stop. Could. Not. Stop. Our brains said, "Okay, you can go to sleep now", but our bodies bitch-slapped our brains and screamed, "Sleep?!? Are you fucking kidding??? I'm just getting started!!" Yeah. Like that.

And then, afterwards, while Sergei slept, I stayed wide awake. For far too long.

I am an incurable insomniac anyway. I can't get more than a few hours sleep without waking up for some or no reason. Even as a kid, I couldn't fall asleep proper until after Midnight (which seriously bugged my parents, who were raised to be up with the chickens...literally), and did perfectly fine the next day with 6 hrs sleep. As an adult, I generally get 5-ish hours of sleep a night. And one weekend morning of sleeping in, oh, maybe 8-9 hours. But it's never, ever good sleep. I toss and turn, and wake up with stupid notes to myself, like 'Buy Drain Cleaner!', or 'Cut the kids' nails...Ouch!' I wish I could sleep better. I'd probably feel better, live longer, be able to leap tall buildings.

But I woke up this morning, 4 hours of sleep under my belt, doin' okay, and I thought..."What if I'd had sex for 4 hours? What if it was 8 hours? Would I rather sleep?"

Sting, that sexy singer and school-girl crush, purported to have tantric sex for 9 hours straight. Thassa lotta sex! And the question in my mind, as I brushed my teeth this morning, was, "Would I rather have 9 straight hours of tantric sex, or 9 straight hours of uninterrupted sleep?" Of course, the reasonable thing would be to say 1 hour of sex, 8 hours of sleep. But what if I had to choose just one?

I'm undecided.

What do y'all say? 9 hours of great sex with the fantasy lover of your choice, or 9 hours of great sleep on a feather mattress with a down blanket and fluffy pillows, like in some commercial for laundry soap?


At 10:44 AM, Blogger Sergei C. said...

Nine hours? Baby, I am not from Havana.

At 1:03 PM, Blogger Okapi said...

This is a tough one. I'm going for the split:
Present day: 9 hours top quality sleep. Circa 1996: 9 hours of tantric hoo-hah magic with Sting.

At 3:45 PM, Blogger bitchphd said...

Why choose? Fuck for nine hours, then sleep for nine hours.

Then get up and find a 24 hour diner for breakfast, regardless of what time it is.

(No tantric hoo-haw with Sting, ew.)

At 4:45 PM, Blogger Rob Helpy-Chalk said...


At 5:04 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

I sleep very very very well, and since you threw in "fantasy lover of your choice", I'm going with a hearty: sex!

At 7:58 PM, Blogger jo(e) said...

Sex over sleep any day. No contest.

At 8:06 PM, Blogger Marcheline said...

Okay, those of you who picked "sex" must know of a secret brand of lube that would protect your privates from extreme fuckburn.... if the choice were just sleep or sex, I'd pick sex any day - but the choice was NINE HOURS of it, people!! Did you hear her, NINE HOURS... I think even RoboCop would rust out before that ordeal was over... frankly, as I get older, I realize it's not the amount of time spent, it's the quality of the experience.

Now, if you're talking about eight hours of working up to it - neck nibbles, a glass of wine, soft music, good food, more neck nibbles, sexy foreplay, and then one hour of great sex....


At 9:29 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Loved your comments! I think I have the answer.

9 hours of pure animal sex.

Followed by 9 hours of great sleep.

Then 9 hours of kissy-kissy, touchy-feely, extremely lubricated (ow-ow-ow...those 9 hours of pure animal sex!), very slow and tantric, barely-touching until 8 hours and 55 minutes into it, then 5 minutes of just fucking. Hard.

Then gingerly walking to a diner and pouring an entire pot of coffee in our mouths, eating eggs and bacon and toast til we burst.

And 9 more hours sleep.

Rinse, repeat.

Sounds like a plan!

At 10:30 PM, Blogger 2nd Hand Smoke said...

I did 5 hours once. My then girlfriend did have to keep getting lube. At about 5 hours she went to get more lube, and I collapsed. I think we were both really confused.
Was that great? Was it too long? I usually average about 2 hours, but I was in the zone that day. She had orgasms, but I didn't.
I must say though, I like to fuck during the day/afternoon and sleep at night.

At 2:52 AM, Blogger r/r said...

sleep, easy.

life ain't nothin' but a dream.

sex is good but sleep is required.

just dream of sex.

At 3:05 AM, Blogger Bear said...

I think I would take 18 hours of intermittent sex and sleep...

Under the current financial circumstances, its about all I can afford right now, anyway, so I better get started!

Your blog is fantastic, by the way! Thanx!

At 11:00 AM, Blogger Rob Helpy-Chalk said...

The problem is that the rewards of sex increase as the sex gets better, while sleep pretty much stays sleep. It makes sense to talk about the best sex of your life, but not so much sense to talk about the best nap of your life.

You specified great sex with the fantasy lover of your choice (just one?). This makes it impossible not to choose sex. You can always sleep later, even if the pillow isn't as fluffy.

On the other hand, the losses from lack of sleep get much greater as the amount and quality of the sleep declines than the losses from lack of sex.

If you had asked, "which would you rather go without for years on end, sex or sleep" I would have to say sex.

Sleep is more of a need and sex is more of a pleasure.

At 7:24 PM, Blogger Becka said...

This being finals week, I'd say sleep. Fuck the sex, I'm fucking tired.

In two weeks? Sex all the way baby.


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