The Uneven Parallel Boobies

Human beings are supposed to be somewhat symmetrical, side to side. The left side of your body should match the right side, vice-versey, and the equator-divider ends up being the septum under our nose, cleavage, that little line of hair on a guy that extends all the way down to the promised land, oh lawd I love that.

But see, nature is a cruel bitch. She don't care much for symmetry, when it gets right down to it. So we end up with a salt-and-pepper duo instead of two perfect pink coconutty sno-balls made from some damn fine machine.

I remember reading some study that took pictures of peoples' faces, divided them exactly in half, and mirror-reflected each half to see what an entirely symmetrical representation of each side of the face would be. In each case, they found that most people, when divided down the middle, looked like two different people, or at least one happy person and one pretty pissed-off person. Only freaky people like models, who had near-perfect symmetry, looked gaw-geous both ways.

My boobs.

Oh, sorry, did I forget to segue? (NOT "Segway", I can't think of a more useless thing to own in Michigan.)

Ahem.

Speaking of symmetry, or I guess, the lack thereof, I was thinking about my boobs tonight. They were just sittin' here, I looked down to say 'hi', and I realized something. My breasteses are more symmetrical now than when I was a young lass.

Back in the teen and college years, my right breast was smaller than my left. And I'm right-handed. Maybe I squished that sucker down by writing too much?

Or I was turning into an arrow-shooting Amazon Woman?

Anyway, then I got older, and popped out two kids, gaining and losing weight several times, breast feeding, etc. Some wonderful hormone musta been tripped along the way, and now I can hold a breast in each hand and cup them exactly the same. I have no gaps in one side of my bra. They're real, and they're spectacular.

Is this just me?

Does anyone else have a bigger goody-bag on one side, a distended yarble, somethin'? Can anyone else but you tell?

Oh, yeah, and speaking again of boobs, go donate some money to Breast Cancer Research at the Boobie-Thon. Both Lisa and Orange have submitted photos, and QWMaine, and...wow! All I can say is...hhhhuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (Didn't get my photo up in time. May just have to donate this year, the 'Thon ends this week.) Anyone else with 'Thon photos?