Monday, February 05, 2007

One thing that bites, and three that do not

What Bites:

1) Dear Mr. Salt-Truck Driver,
Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence at 3:30 this morning. You and your doppelganger. Tag-teaming with your little blades and salty spritzes. Thanks to you, Boy-child woke up freaked out that we were in the midst of a horrendous storm, what with your thunderous motors and scraping, and your brilliant lightning flashes. I had to talk him down and back to bed. Then, just to be doubly sure, you did it AGAIN. Louder even. And then…I guess, to make up for the snow we didn’t get in December, you rounded our block a THIRD time. You’re lucky I wasn’t wearing any pants, ‘cause I would have chased you down and beat you with my slippers. Thanks to you and your generous scraping, my 5:30 a.m. trip out to my car revealed that not only had you pushed NO snow aside, but that you’d actually groomed the street to hockey-arena-iciness. Yeah. That’s nice. You may go to bed now. But just be warned…in the middle of your dreams, I’ll be there. Driving up and down your street. Honking my horn and throwing pebbles at your car.

What Does Not Bite:

1) Sergei turned me on to this guy last night...Eric Schwartz...singer/songwriter and dirty-minded expounder of liberal ideals. I’m pondering whether to float him in as Fantasy Boyfriend, and if he’s gay, to create a new category for him…Fantasy Gay Boyfriend. Hey, a girl can dream…. (Links at Sowing Dissent...to keep some semblance of 'cleanliness' on this blog.)

2) At the video store on Saturday, the clerks were playing this gem. Afterwards, I had so many quotes in my head, I had to put it on the list of ‘Best Comedies Ever’. And why isn’t John Cusack on my Fantasy Boyfriend list??? WHY?

3) If you didn’t see all the ads during the Super Bowl last night, here’s a link to see them. I was disappointed, overall. There were some cute ones, and some that were downright repulsive, but I was expecting more. A LOT more. HOW many millions of dollars did advertisers spend, and couldn’t they be any more clever? (But kudos to the walnut guys for including Robert Goulet. And Ricardo Montalban for being such a good sport.)

5 Comments:

At 12:14 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

Better Off Dead is one of my all time favorites -

"Its got raisins in it, you like raisins"

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger meno said...

I hated the ad for getdaddy or buydaddy or whatever the hell it was.com.

Couldn't they come up with anything more creative than skantily clad, sugically enhanced women with over-processed hair?

 
At 6:20 AM, Blogger gr said...

dreamt I had lunch with Peyton Manning and then we went fishing--he may be a super bowl mvp, but he can't fish worth a darn

 
At 12:24 PM, Blogger Sanjay said...

Aww. poor boy child.

John Cusack is "teh hotness"

I really did not watch most of the superbowl ads. :(

 
At 1:56 PM, Blogger Orange said...

Yum, John Cusack.

Though his sister Joan, in those phone ads? She needs to eat more. She's withering away to nothingness.

That GoDaddy ad pissed me off. Those fuckers have my money—I reserved several domain names through them—and they opt for the women=sexbots trope for their highest-profile ad to date? Fuckers.

 

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