Thursday, August 09, 2007

I'm BAAAACK!

Yes, the surgery is over, and the healing has begun! I haven't been in much of a blogging mood lately to update y'all, but I hope you have all checked with Sergei and found me to be in good health. I've started blog posts in my head for the past two weeks, but haven't had the gumption or wherewithall or energy to actually sit down and write. Some days are good, some are painful, and I've never relished naps so much in my life (save for that baby/toddler period).

Here's what I can tell you.

1) The surgery went very well. The doctor was pleased afterwards. My follow-up appointment a week after the surgery led him to exclaim, "Beautiful! That's healing nicely." And then he did a little 'I rock' dance.

2) I still can hardly bear to look at the scar/incision, though. It's huge. BUT, if I should ever drop 40 pounds and be brave enough to wear a bikini in public (hehheh, I spelled it 'pubic' first), I can prance around gleefully, knowing that no one can see the scar.

3) My body does not like pain meds. For the first 24 hours after the surgery, I was sick from the pain medicine (Delaudid). Nauseous. Throwing up. Head spinning like I was drunk. Did it suck? HELLS YEAH! I knew I couldn't take Vicodin or Darvocet, based on past experience. So after they took me off the Delaudid, they put me on Tylenol 3. Which was okay for the first, oh, 24 hours. THEN it made me totally high. Seeing trails. Putting my foot on the bed rail so I didn't spin out of it. HIGH. Then I told them, look, just give me Motrin. And they did. 600 mg tabs as big as my pinkie. And that worked. And I puked no more. Dammit, but I'd make a terrible junkie.

4) Daytime television SUCKS. I mean, I have hundreds of channels to choose from, but the pickin's is slim. I can only watch so many cooking shows, or What Not To Wear shows, or How It's Made shows before I start sticking forks in my eyeballs.

5) Sergei is the awesome-est awesome mate. He's catered to my whims like I'm the Queen of Sheba. Done all the housework. Groceries. Yard work. Dealt with our current house-falling-apart issues (pests, plumbing, locks). I think I owe him something. (wink wink) Sex is set to resume in a few weeks, after the doc okays the healing. I can't wait. I've been having wet dreams in anticipation.

6) I never...EVER...have to have another period. WOOHOO!!!!!!! I'm so frikkin' excited I squirt pee just thinking about it. ("Squirt pee" being of my own volition, and not some repercussion of the surgery.)

7) I get to spend more time with the kids this summer. They still go to their day camp 2 or 3 days a week, to have fun and see their friends...'cause let's face it, I certainly don't have the energy yet to take them to the water park or the art museum or rock climbing. I can hobble around, I can walk for brief periods, I can sit with them and do crafts and rent movies and teach them how to make their own lunch. We be chillin' this summer, and it feels real good.

8) I'm off work til after Labor Day. On paid leave. How cool is that? I love my job. Truly.

9) Now that I'm home during the day, I'm shocked and amazed by how many telemarketing calls we get. I don't even bother to answer the phone any more. When I DO answer, thinking it might be Sergei or the kids' camp, or one of my friends who said they'd check up on me, I lie to the telemarketer and say, No, there is no Mona here. If I want a satellite dish, dammit, I'll make the call. Until then, take me off yer damn list.

10) There probably won't be a Poetry Friday Word from me this week, 'cause something happened with the surgery, something where my urge to write left for a while. I'm surprised I got this far in the blog post and managed to string together fairly cohesive sentences. I'm just...well...tired, I suppose, and haven't been out in the world to have much to say about anything. Except, you should all watch "Scott Baio is 45 and Single", which is a big ol' hoot.

11) Sergei and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary last weekend. We went out to dinner with the kids. I was totally out of ideas for gifts, as was he, so we didn't do 'em. Just the pleasure of his company and his naked antics are enough for me.

12) I've been reading a lot lately. Got 8 or 10 books done, and working on two more, simultaneously. Have stacks yet to attack, but feel good about taking 'me' time to just read.

13) I'll be around to your blogs soon. What have you been up to lately?

24 Comments:

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Jeremiah said...

Yeah! I get to be the FIRST to say, FREAKIN' WELCOME BACK, SUPERGIRL! I'm so glad to hear from you that I'm causing those NEAR me to squirt pee. Thank (insert diety of your choice) that you made it through so well, and rest in the knowledge that, even in relative silence, knowing that yer alright is worth a year's worth of blog posts. I through ticker tape in you and your family's general direction.

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger Jeremiah said...

And, I also get to be the first to correct myself--I mean "throw" ticker tape...

I'm just too dang happy to spell!

 
At 12:45 PM, Blogger gypsy said...

Hazzah!

Welcome back, Mona! Glad to know it all went fairly smoothly!

Someday I want you to show me your scar.

:)

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger gr said...

Mona, this is fantastic!
I am so pleased yer back.

Now, as for #5, do you know how to eat an ice cream cone?

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger Faith said...

What have I been up to lately? Um, that'd be wondering about how YOU'RE doing.

So glad you've updated. Now get some rest! (Wet dreams! Only you, Mona...)

 
At 3:20 PM, Blogger Sanjay said...

Welcome back! Thank you for the updates and glad you are healing well!

 
At 5:39 PM, Blogger patches said...

Darling I missed you! Life is so much quieter when you're reacting unfavorably to your meds. Be sure and rate the books you read for us, I can always use new titles for my wish list. I'm happy things are getting better for you.

 
At 7:02 PM, Blogger Irrelephant said...

Oh sweet girl, I'm so glad you're back and safe and sound and healing and...damnit, I'm just glad to see you. *smile* Welcome back.

 
At 10:53 PM, Blogger Mother of Invention said...

I JUST posted at Maggie's that I wondered how you were doing! I forgot we could find out at Sergei's...sorry!
Glad you're back and on the road to recovery and will never have pain or periods again...freedom!

 
At 10:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous, too said...

It's too bad the pain meds weren't any fun for you, but it's good to know you're on the mend! Your adoring public missed you!

 
At 12:04 AM, Blogger Orange said...

How big's your scar? Surely it's no bigger than my C-section scar? 'Cause they didn't have to yoink my uterus out, but a baby tends to be bigger than that. My scar's about 4 to 5 inches wide.

Happy anniversary!

Happy paid leave!

Happy no Crimson Permanent Assurance! Wait, what's the opposite? The Crimson Impermanent Assurance?

Your doctor did not do the little dance...did he?

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger Maine said...

Excellent. Glad to see you're up. And Scott Baio's show is RULING me right now. Dear god that's good TV.

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

Me? Lazily laying around writhing in pain. Been thinking about you. I'm so happy you are feeling better. Take it easy and slow. Plenty of time to recuperate.

And I can't wait to hear about the books you've read!

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger pinky pinkerson said...

ahh - I've been anticipating you writing about feeling better! So glad things have been going well.

As for me - I won't be having periods for a while either...but not because I had any surgery :-)

 
At 11:29 PM, Blogger meno said...

Hi Mona! Nice to hear from you. Glad that bad old uterus is gone and the party can commence in a few weeks.

 
At 11:41 PM, Blogger Nancy Dancehall said...

Woo-hoo! Mona's back! She's the raaaaw flame, the liiiiive wire...

ok.

lol...I can see you with your drug dealer: 'Um, got anything besides this heroin? It totally makes me sick. No, no meth. Noooo, I don't want acid. Trails. Gets me too high. Ok, fine, I'll just go home and take some aspirin..."

 
At 12:35 AM, Blogger Marcheline said...

WELCOME BACK MONA!!!! Glad to hear everything went well "down there", drugs notwithstanding, and also...

HAPPY 12th ANNIVERSARY!!!

Tomorrow will mark the 8th anniversary of Bear's and my first date. Every year we go back to the same diner where we had our first-date-meal. The waitress is never the same, but they enjoy the story all the same. When possible, we try to get the same booth, too. And then we make out in the parking lot afterwards, just like the first time. Wonder what people are gonna think when it's our 50th anniversary - heh!!!

- M

 
At 4:44 AM, Blogger D-Man said...

Here's to healing.

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger Diana said...

Thrilled that you are BAAAAAAACK and slowly feeling your way to better.

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger Bear said...

Mona,

It's good to see that you're back! I am happy that the surgery went well... rest and enjoy your time off... and get better!!

In Peace & Brotherhood,

Bear :-)

 
At 11:16 AM, Blogger jo(e) said...

I just got back from vacation and figured I'd check in to see how you were doing. I'm glad the recovery is going well. I've missed your blogging ....

 
At 1:04 AM, Blogger Coffee-Drinking Woman said...

Yea! you're back! I'm glad it all went well.

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger your fiend, mr. jones said...

Hooray! Paid leave til Labor (Jerry Lewis Telethon) Day, reading books, watching tv, and mate waiting on you hand and foot???


Where do I sign up?

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger your fiend, mr. jones said...

Oh, happy end of surgery and 12th! Our 10th (since we first met) and 7th (since we got hitched) is this weekend and I'm still a lil' stumped.

Sigh. Quality problems.

 

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