I'll Take "Potpourri" for $400, Alex

I run my life by Post-It NotesTM. In front of me are a stack of 8, things I have to do or remember. A 9th one listing times and dates the internet crapped out here at work due to our bizarre server situation. Another demanding 'Buy Baseball Tickets!". Another taped to my monitor with the secret sign-in code to one of our clients (secret? bah!).

So...so...sew...I'm dumping the miscellaneous stuff raht-cheer.

1) My insomnia is hereditary, if you check with my kids. Boy-child doesn't fall asleep generally until an hour past his scheduled bedtime, and he routinely gets up in the middle of the night for a drink or to pee or to moan about a 'bad thought' he had. Last night (okay, this morning), he got up at 3 a.m., spent 10 minutes in the bathroom (doing...WHAT? what do boys DO in there?), and upon my urging, went back to bed, whereupon he promptly said, "I'm thirsty, can I have a drink of water?" (Again, WHAT do boys DO in the bathroom?) Girl-child is not so bad, yet, but I'm expecting a night-owl.

2) Speaking of boys in the bathroom, I know boy-child spanks the monkey in there, which we've told him is okay, as long as he doesn't do 'that' in front of other people. And as long as no-one else has to pee (only one bathroom). But I have NO idea if girl-child rubs her little flower. Should I ask? I get the distinct impression that if I even suggest it to her, she'll never leave her room. Yeah, she's like her mom.

3) It's a cruel twist of nature that womens breasts change over time. And by 'change', I mean head south, like the geese, only they never head north again. Gravity, childbirth, breastfeeding, bad bras, all that stuff just messes with that delicate tissue. Question: Why don't mens ballsacs do the same thing? Doesn't gravity have the same effect? And all that contracting and expanding? If they ever did 'head for the valley', would men wear 'nad-bras? Or would the double-hanging doo-dads be a sign of verility? (thoughtfully stroking chin)

4) Apparently I was bodacious last night. Good bra, tank top. Boy-child was on the phone with a friend being invited to a birthday party, and I was taking notes for him (time, phone number, etc.). And I was NOT doing the 'bunny-dip' to keep my cleavage a well-kept secret whilst doing my momly duty. No. Oh NO. I was bending over and, according to Sergei, revealing my awesome cleavage to the boy-child (who didn't notice, yo, because he was concentrating on a PARTY, and not boobage...and I certainly didn't notice). I know one day soon, boy-child will call me on the carpet for that sort of thing. Urgh.

5) There is very little else more soothing than a hand gently resting on your sleeping back.

6) Everyone should go out right now and buy the DVD of the first season of "The Adventures of Pete and Pete". If nothing else to see the guest stars...Iggy Pop, Steve Buscemi, Michael Stipe, Debbie Harry, the list goes on and on and.... Oh, and of course, Toby Huss, as Artie, "...the strongest man!...in the world!

7) It's become apparent to me that little things need me. The children want to snuggle constantly. The cat wants me to scratch that part riiiiiiight above her tail. The plants enjoy when I water and tend to them. I like that. I like it all an awesome lot. I'm sure I'll turn this into a separate post someday. But I just wanted to get this on record.

8) Y'know what words make me giggle uncontrollably? "Ass pirate."

9) Sergei's birthday is this Friday. If you have any suggestions for gifts, let me know. Oh, and go give him a virtual spanking or hug or shoulder slug or sing to him, if you're so inclined. Photos of your boobies are also welcome, ladies. (Guys...not so much photos of yer johnsons, but thanks for asking.)

Cheerio!