Monday, June 27, 2005

XO Kissy Huggy XO

In the movie, "Prick Up Your Ears", Gary Oldman poses this line to a potential lover:

"Do you kiss?"

And he does...and they do.

There was a lot of kissing this past weekend. Oh sure, with the usual suspects, Sergei and Boy-Child and Girl-Child. But as Sergei mentioned last Friday, we went to my folks house this weekend for a reunion, my siblings and their spouses/sig others and all the kids and a favorite uncle dropped by.

And there was a lot of kissing. And hugging. And playful bumping of shoulders and butt-nudges and ribbing about the size of noses and thighs.

I'm not sure if my family is weird in that respect, I have very little to compare it to. With Sergei's various family elements, there is a lot of hugging, and kisses from moms. In my family, guys and girls kiss, sort of a sideways kiss, so I got a peck from my brother, my uncle, my mom, sisters, sister-in-law, and a boyfriend (not mine). My dad gives me a cheek-kiss. My niece and nephew give me a cheek-rubbing kiss.

We all get along, which I guess in itself is fairly abnormal...not saying we don't disagree, but we're not one of those families that argues. We may gossip a bit (and Sergei is chortling right now about that, esp. given the topics of conversation revolving around my black-sheep youngest sister...more on that at a later date), but we don't argue. There's no need.

Several decades ago, some family members were killed in an unexpected and terrible way...by a tornado. Not so much 'Wizard of Oz' as 'Discovery Channel: Killer Tornados'. That marked a sort of change in the entire extended family dynamic. I think everyone realized that we can just go...snap!...at any time. So each time we meet, we kiss and hug just in case.

When Sergei and I did local theatre, there was a similar dynamic, but not so much kissing as playful hugging and rubbing of backs and flirting and shoulder leaning. Well, in the case of Sergei and me, we DID kiss and hug (onstage and backstage) and ended up being the happy married couple. We don't have time for theatre now, with two jobs and two kids and sports and meetings and bills. I go through periods of missing it. The acting part, sure, I miss working that craft. But I think more, I miss the comraderie. I miss going through all the hell that is the rehearsal process and coming out the other side with a good product and good friends, being able to touch someone on the arm and have it mean, "Hey, good job out there!"

With our friends and family, we're not afraid to touch. And we like it when they touch back.

Say "Amen" somebody....

8 Comments:

At 9:54 AM, Blogger Julie said...

I just saw relatives this weekend from my mom's side, where they think they should be touchy but can't quite pull it off. You end up receiving one-armed hugs where the other person is holding their body so far back only your shoulders touch. Weird.

My dad's family is the opposite--totally kissy-huggy-flirty. It translates into an adult (myself) who is fairly hands-off when sober, and totally touchy-feely (and not just in a sexual way!) when drunk.

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger Maine said...

I think its nice to be physically intimiate with your family and such. It keeps people from growing into repressed weirdos.

(In case you're wondering where weirdos come from...)

 
At 4:12 PM, Blogger jo(e) said...

I am definitely a touchy-feely, hugging, kissing type. Warmth and affection are soooo important.

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger Pisser said...

Sounds like a nice family...my 350 lb. uncle: my GOODNESS. You're bigger than I AM!

Me: !@#$!!!

Ugh...actors and their touchy-feely everyone-has-slept-with-everyone-else. Gives me the booboo jeebies. Ugh :P

Glad it worked out for you, though!

 
At 4:51 PM, Blogger Pisser said...

P.S. Would love to hear more about tornado...so sorry you lost family that-a-way...

 
At 4:53 PM, Blogger Serra said...

Sounds like a close, loving family. Excellent.

 
At 6:28 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

how about a "hell yeah!"? :)

it's definitely a good thing. my family isn't very touchy, but we do all get along well and have lots of laughs and good times when we're together. my husband's family is finally starting to grow up a bit...hey, they're all boys, so it takes longer

 
At 9:33 AM, Blogger your fiend, mr. jones said...

Ahh, the acting life with as much (if not more) drama offstage as there is onstage. As P Kitty said, there always seemed to be a lot of "everyone sleeping with everyone else" going on, but for me, as I got older, it seemed that it didn't have to be that way. I mean, I was married, I ran the shows (I was the artistic director/producer for the last few years of a radio-style theater), my wife was in the shows, I love my wife, and any problems we had we wouldn't bring into the space.

And if anybody else was having drama, they didn't either or I didn't notice. The latter was probably more the case than the former.

Ooops, sorry about the miniblog.

 

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