Did I Pass...The Pencil Test?
No, I did not.
And I never will again.
To execute the pencil test (women only): Take a number 2 pencil. Place it underneath your breast. If you can let go of the pencil and it falls to the ground, you passed! If the pencil stays there, held ever so gently between delicate breast tissue and your chest, you fail the test.
However, failing means you have large breasts.
So it's not a BAD thing.
I had sort of a crisis this morning while picking out a bra. I have two types of bras:
1) Underwires with thin cup material, which allows my nipples to show when erect.
2) Underwires with thick padded cups, which allow my breasts to sit perkily and magically suspended, and creates magnificent cleavage.
Generally I go for the thick cups, as I sincerely enjoy seeing my 'two puppies' at an elevation belying my age. But I do enjoy checking my visage out in the mirror at work and seeing two small marbles staring out from my shirt, even though my breasts aren't as high as with the other bra. Some sort of weird female power trip, I guess.
I believe bra manufacturers need to satisfy both my urges. Make a padded cup, okay, that's fine, I'm all high-and-mighty, breast-wise. But why not also make the material at the nipple area thinner, so when our building manager thinks 65 degrees is an acceptable level to set the air conditioning, I can point to my thimbleberries and yell, "The 'thermometers' say TOO COLD! Turn it down, already!"
The lovely Bitch PhD swears by Wacoal bras, which are incredibly lovely. I would love to try them on though (buying bras over the internet scares the BeJeebus outta me). Here's the thing though...I have yet to spend more than 5 minutes or $10 while choosing a bra. (I know, I'm a disgrace to women everywhere.) But really, I'm just holding out for the right bra.
Can I get lift AND nipplage? Anyone know?