Monday, June 06, 2005

R-U-N-N O-F-T

Last Friday was the last day of work for the guy in the cube just south of me. He was a redneck transplant from Mississippi, Republican, loud, cocky, made too much money and bragged too hard about the stocks he and his wife (a muckitimuck at Local University) were able to buy.

Mostly he's been pretty helpful in the month since he placed his notice. But round about Tuesday last week, he checked out mentally. Whenever anyone wanted information, he would either stare at them blankly or mumble something about getting with them "later", and never doing that. He put in a lot of half-days, or mostly empty days where he just wandered.

We got a 'good-bye' card as a department and gave it to him Friday morning. Some time after receiving the card, he got an email from the boss asking just for a rundown of the projects he had, the status they were in, so they could be reassigned appropriately. He replied via email to boss, "You can't bust my balls anymore, man. I'm outta here."

Then he picked up his car keys and slammed the door on his way out.

Oh yeah, he left the goodbye card on his desk. Unopened.

I cleaned out his cube Friday afternoon. I threw away everything he touched short of the computer, keyboard, and desk. I threw away the card too.

Good fucking riddance, you ungrateful bastard.

Today, another co-worker, "Suicidal-Guy-In-Loveless-Marriage" will be moving in to that space. And I get to talk him down from his mental ledges of jumping death every fucking day.

Can I be any luckier a gal?

13 Comments:

At 1:02 PM, Blogger Cecil B. said...

Let him jump and see if the next guys any better than the last two.

 
At 1:26 PM, Blogger annush said...

hahaha...
i was going to say to let him jump as well. Maybe you'll get a day off or something :)

 
At 1:50 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

We DO get bereavement pay, and days off, so...I think my advice will be a little more self-serving from now on! ;-)

 
At 3:32 PM, Blogger Avatar said...

Could be worse. You could be 'not gettin' any' like some of us.

 
At 5:41 PM, Blogger Bear said...

Even though you most likely feel bad for the guy, you should probably set some boundaries right from the start... the sooner you send the 'squatters' packing, the easier it is to get them on thier way... the longer they squat, the harder it is to get them moving.. ya know??

If necessary, I would just be honest and say that you are uncomfortable with that topic, that you have no information or advice that is likely to be helpful, and that you think that sticking to work-related topics would probably be best.

He may get his ass up about it at first, but, better him than you...


my 2 cents.


Bear

 
At 7:36 PM, Blogger Pisser said...

I normally am completely anti-adultery, but I think all that guy needs is a good *ding, ding*!

Sorry about Slammy. What an ass. I have to check myself, too, 'cuz sometimes I complain too much when I should feel lucky to have a job...

 
At 9:39 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

hahaha!! love the title....and am now chanting that in my head!

apparently he had something large and spike-covered lodged in his colon.

and...good luck with the basket case...ugh.

 
At 11:44 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Avatar: What about that lovely Irish lad? I had such a mental picture of him and his 'little-man-in-a-hoodie'....

Bear: I have tried to keep Suicidal Guy at bay, but it's like a soap opera...he keeps telling me things his wife did or said and I keep listening, mostly because it makes me feel like the Queen of Goodness. Boundaries are good, though, I'll try to remember that.

Pisser: Ding! Ding! Indeed! He needs some bonin' in the boneyard, hard.

Lisa: I'm wid ya! I had lines from that movie in my head all frickin' day! "We...thought...you...wuz...a...toad!"

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger Sergei C. said...

"Baptism!"

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger Julie said...

My friend the nurse argues that sometimes it's the *place* that's bad. As in, don't put the new patient in Room 115, because the last three have died there, and so the new patient is doomed for sure.

Maybe it's the CUBE that's the problem. Don't let them put you there, Mona. You've already done your karmic duty by cleaning it out after the last guy.

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger Avatar said...

Mona: wild updates on Irish lad... check my blog in a few hours.

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger Marcheline said...

OKAY, apparently I'm the only stupid one in the bunch... what the F*&K does " R-U-N-N O-F-T" mean? Did I miss something besides the short bus? Please explain to the moronic girl with the extremely black hair, and I promise not to put anything large up my nose.

 
At 11:16 AM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Sergei: "Oh, my hair!"

Julie: I never thought of that! It's the Cube of Insane Programmers! Maybe I need to hire an exorcist or somethin'....

Avatar: Ooh. Is that what an "Irish Spring" is? More like a fountain. Or a dribble, in our case.

Marcheline: It's a line from the movie, "O Brother Where Art Thou?" I would most HIGHLY recommend it. I love those Coen Brothers!

 

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