Thursday, August 18, 2005

Be You Blithe and Bonny

1) This morning the Weather Channel was ‘predicting’ (HA!) the weather for the next WEEK. And they truly suck at this. Okay, they show the big screen with my general geographic area, and there’s a huge mess o’ clouds coming our way, and I can see it’ll hit here in, oh, 4 hours or so. And what’s their prediction? Sunny! All day! Tomorrow too! Liar liar pants on fire, you stupid jerks. So I was thinking in my deliriously sleepy state, maybe they should venture into predicting other things that maybe they have a better chance of getting right. Like, oh, invasion by monsters from outer space…“100% chance of no attacks by Mothra today!”…”30% chance of occasional death rays by Gargantu-thon, clearing by evening.”

2) I saw the bestest bumper sticker on a car at the kids camp. Playing on the WWJD theme, which previously was topped by “Who Would Jesus Bomb” and “What Would DOG Doo”, came this one: WWJCD: “What Would Johnny Cash Do?” I will be giving these out as Christmas presents.

3) I found Sergei new eye candy this morning. Dropping the kids off at camp, a mom was taking her wee one inside. She was sort of tall, not too thin but athletic, dark hair pulled up in a stylish sweep, grey suit that hugged her body. Her rack was okay, her face was nice, but…DAMN! THAT ASS!!! I mean…frick!!! I was gettin’ all latent lesbian and stuff. So, honey, you might want to do some kid wranglin’ in the a.m., say, about 8-ish??

4) ‘Course the lesbian thoughts didn’t last long ‘cause ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ was on tv this morning (after I threw something at the Weather Channel screen). And damn, but Denzel Washington is hella HOT! Especially in a puffy shirt and leather vest. And thoughts of him pushed out the MILF fantasy.

5) Yeah, so, the super-special dessert I was hoping to make last night for work today FAILED, and in a big way. I was gonna do a sort of Mexican Cannoli. Make the filling with ricotta and mini choc chips and roll it up in tortillas, sprinkle some cinnamon sugar and honey in there, should be good, right? I even made a test one a couple days ago and both Sergei and I agreed…yummy. HOWEVER. There’s something chemical about ricotta that apparently I’ve never been told. ‘Cause last night I dumped that cheesey tub in a bowl with some sugar and vanilla and teeny choc bits, stirred it up…and got soup. SOUP. Not conducive for rolling up in anything other than a plastic bag for the garbage. So I stuck it in the frig for 2 hours. Still soup. Added a block of cream cheese. Soup. Dumped in cups of powdered sugar. Soup-ier! Some flour. Soupsoupsoup. Fuckin’ hell. SO. I got out a pan, threw some graham crackers in the bottom, added some eggs to my disastrous cheese soup mixture, poured it in the pan, and baked it. Voila! Cheesecake! It has these weird holes on the top, and the crust is truly too crunchy and not sweet enough, but the filling is really delish. And anyway, I brought a squeezey jar of chocolate syrup, and anything’s good topped with chocolate.
(Update: 15 minutes after lunch started, EVERY SINGLE PIECE of this cheesecake was gone. GONE! Everyone's stopping by my cube and rubbing their tummies in "mmm-good" poses and asking for the bloody recipe! WTF???? How can this shit happen?)

6) Except I had to try a piece of the cheesecake this morning and it was good but on an empty stomach, I now am queasy. Does Rachel Ray have this problem??

7) BitchPhD is awesome! Oh, and did anyone else see her mentioned in the MSNBC blog "Clicked" on August 12? This copy included: Your 8/10 "Clicked" linked to a factcheck.org article taking NARAL to task for its anti-Roberts ads.
Interestingly, your 8/9 link to the "Nice Guys and Bitchy Women" blog lead me to the home page for
"Bitch Ph.D.", where she had posted NARAL's response to factcheck.org's analysis... I like the title: "Factcheck.org Could Use a Good Fact Checker".

8) That is all.

14 Comments:

At 11:38 AM, Blogger midwest_hick said...

I too suffer from latent lesbian tendencies my self....so don't feel bad....lol

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger Julie said...

I like the way you're trying to con Sergei into dropping off the kids. I'm going to steal this tactic next time I want a guy to do something for me. "Sweetie, you've got to see this ultra-hottie who staffs the prescription counter at the drugstore... in fact, if you picked up my birth control pills, it would give you the perfect opportunity to see her!"

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger bitchphd said...

Yeah, I'm still getting the occasional hit from that msnbc thing...

 
At 1:10 PM, Blogger Maine said...

Rachel Ray is, like, the hottest woman on the planet.

Not so much physically. I think she's okay looking. But, while she yammers on about her day, feelings, thoughts, etc., she's also whipping up a great meal. She's always welcome in my household. Mmm....

 
At 1:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 1:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 1:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 2:12 PM, Blogger Sergei C. said...

Jesus fucking Christ - you've got more spam than any two trailer parks, honey!

 
At 2:22 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Midwest: Yeah man, we're ALL lesbians! (And, BTW, when we ladies get together without you men, for 'Girls Night Out' and stuff? Total hot lesbian sex. Just thought you outta know.)

Julie: (Innocently) What? I was what?!? (We'll talk later, okay?)

BPhD: I figured that's why you had hundreds of comments that day. Lucky you!

Maine: That's what Sergei says about me too. Sexy, okay, sure, whatever, but she can COOK! Hey, whatever gets me laid!

Sergei: What the bloody fuckin' hell?!?!? As much as I am loath to load Haloscan, I may have to cave. (And fried spam...mmm...on white bread with mayo...droool.....)

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger Pisser said...

I want that tortilla thingy. And the cheesecake sounds wonderful, not too sweet. But try to re-created it, and...soup!

Maybe if you had beaten it after adding the flour and eggs... ;)

I'll pass on the lesbian thing, unless they're TRUE lesbians, who want nothing to do with men. That is hot.

 
At 3:28 PM, Blogger Beltane said...

Since no one else will froth with you Mona, I will.... Much Ado About Nothing is dead sexy.


Love the scene when they are all arriving on horseback with the loud trumpeting music announcing each character, they are all tanned and sweaty, racing to the villa. Jeezus... I could lick the sweat off every single one of those guys, and I think I'd pay special close attention to Branagh's bits.

What was Emma thinking, breaking up with him.

 
At 3:35 PM, Blogger Orange said...

You should give that "cheesecake" recipe to your coworkers, but leave out a whole bunch of oddball ingredients and steps. Then when their results are way different, you tell them it's a very technique-sensitive recipe, and they must not have your delicate touch in the kitchen...

 
At 11:15 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Pisser: All the true lesbians are too busy playing fast-pitch softball. Shame, that.

Beltane: Yeah, that opening scene was killer! And Emma broke up with Kenneth because he was banging Helena Bonham Carter during the filming of 'Frankenstein'. Emma left him, and Ken and Helena shacked up for 5 years before she left him and had Tim Burton's baby. What a tangled web....

Orange: Can you believe, my grandma did that to me? She purposely goofed up a recipe for her famous chocolate cookies so no one could reproduce them. But thanks to Alton Brown and many bad batches, I cracked her code. HAHA!

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger Beltane said...

I had no idea about Ken and Helena...


Damn..

What the fuck is wrong with men? Ain't nothing wrong with Emma!

 

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