Monday, August 22, 2005

Orgasm on a Spoon

I finished my lunch with an orgasm that helped drive my migraine into a chair in the back of the room.

There was no sex involved. No masturbation. Not even my standard kinky orgy fantasy (several male friends, several bloggers (both sexes), Sergei, and 5 Freebie Lays).

It was my lunch (and when I typed that just now, my fingers quivered and my snoopy started throbbing).

See, this weekend I made chunky garden gazpacho, full of cilantro and peppers and tomatoes and chick peas and garlic and other veggies and hot stuff. And it’s just a slice of nirvana, all lumpy and bumpy and chilled and succulent (drool) and it tickles yer tongue and sends shivers down yer spine (oh baby, oh yes!).

I brought some in today for lunch. Eating it was like foreplay, long licking foreplay, and halfway through I got that…”feeling”, ya know the one, in your nethers, getting tingly and the blood rushing there and then your arms feel like they’re on fire? That one. And the more I ate, the better I felt. As I was slurping down the last little bits, wishing I had more, those little waves came, you know, food orgasm waves, almost like the sex ones, and then…gulp!...AHHHHH!...and it was over, and my head felt not quite so bad and the nausea almost gone.

So.

I believe that’s evidence of food masturbation, without using a banana or cucumber.

20 Comments:

At 2:38 PM, Blogger Gimpy said...

I'll take 2 please, for delivery!! Seriously, aside from your wonderful description of physical pleasure, it really does sound yummy!

~April~

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Orange said...

All right, you'll need to explain which bloggers are in the standard list, and you'll also need to explain how food that contains no chocolate and hardly any carbs can bring you such joy. But don't tell your doctor that a sexy bowl of gazpacho relieves your migraines, because then they're gonna give you crazy pills instead of headache pills.

 
At 4:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 4:21 PM, Blogger *~-_eLySe_-~* said...

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At 5:01 PM, Blogger Sergei C. said...

Ah! Some delicious spam with your soup! What a buzzkiller.

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger Orange said...

Aw, your spamments are more entertaining than mine. "Trade show magician related stuff"? Fascinating! Though I did have one that used the same template as Mr. Magician, but they needed better QA because their special info and link didn't get inserted. It said, "I have a blog. It pretty much covers related stuff." Hey! There's the description of my blog that I've been looking for. "It pretty much covers related stuff." Exactly!

 
At 9:58 PM, Blogger No_Newz said...

OMG! Why do I suddenly feel so... hungry? ;)
Lois Lane

 
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At 10:57 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Gimpy: Oh yeah, it was! Last time I tried gazpacho at a restaurant, they served me cold campbells soup...just NOT the same!

Orange: Who says I'm not already ON the crazy pills?!?! Uh, I think the orgasm had something to do with garlic and cilantro, one of my fav herbs. And I cannot divulge who's on the list, as they would probably freak out and never return to my site, oh god, no, no....

Sergei: Thanks for helping me load haloscan on tonight, hon. The only spam I like is from that Hawaiian bbq place, spam sushi...mmmmm....

Lois: I'm finding there's an eentsy-teentsy line between sex and food, which my waistline finds totally frustrating!

 
At 11:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 9:23 AM, Anonymous Rob said...

Mona, is the bottom line here that you "swallow"?! ;-p)

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Rob: Why put it in yer mouth if yer just gonna spit it out?

 
At 6:08 PM, Anonymous Rob said...

Good point, Moan-a! That would be like me licking the "sliced peach" without really wanting to taste the juice. What would be the point?!

 

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