Blue Jello Blues

I sat on the toilet at 5 a.m. this morning. The angry buzz of my alarm clock flew circles in my sleepy head.

I was pissed.

Usually I don’t mind getting up for an early work shift. But last night I got to bed a little after midnight. I had juuuuust fallen asleep when I had a (CAWF!CHOKE!) coughing fit (HHAAAAAWWWKKK), a coughing attack (UUUUUUUUGGGGG), a coughing paroxysm (caHOOGA), that shook my every bone. When I finally did get to sleep again, I slept hard, I mean PAVEMENT hard, where your body doesn’t move and you breathe long and deep.

I sat on the toilet at 5 a.m. this morning. Pissed. Unsure why the pissiness.

Then I remembered the very last thing I was dreaming of before the alarm went off.

Then it all made sense.

Then a big shitty grin found my face.

I had a vivid dream, a very sexy dream, but it didn’t get really interesting until the end.

The End: I was in a room with three friends, 2 girls (Brunette and Blonde) and 1 guy (Guy). We were drunk, there was a party goin’ on right here, a celebration (to last throughout the year). Outside the patio door, some school kids were dressing up the street corner with Christmas lights (now I KNOW I dream in colour). The four of us had just done something, some prank, and were feelin’ mighty mighty. We sat on the floor in a circle, the guy across from me, the girls to my left and right. We got sort of touchy-feely, in a way that you are with your bestest friends. Brunette on my left produced a pan of blue finger jello, actually jello shots with vodka. Blue jello. Brunette suggested that Guy take a jello shot, place it in my cooter, and eat it. My pants just (click!) disappeared, and Guy did as he was told. He did it veeeery well, which seemed to inspire the girls. Brunette tried it, then Blonde, then Guy again, and Guy AGAIN, with the girls ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ all the way. Then Peekaboo Street (that skier chick, remember her?) slid down the patio door from the top and called to her friend, Brunette, who got up to talk to her. Guy and Blonde and I were in our little threesome, them slapping blue jello shots on my cooter fast as you please, all of us giggling and moaning and hootin’ it up.

The alarm interrupted my three-way.

THAT’S why I was pissed.

A-Ha Experience #427.

On a totally different note, today is my one-year blog-a-versary. One year! It seems to have flown by, and yet, not so much. Thanks for y’all’s support and readership, really, you're all terrific, and I'm a lucky girl (dabbing at grateful tears). Is there cake? Do we get a cake for this sort of thing? If not cake…jello??