Thursday, March 30, 2006

Do the (Funky Mama) Do the Grind

1) I just had an oral-gasm. Suicidal-Guy-In-Loveless-Marriage stopped at Burger King this morning for breakfast. Because BK doesn’t serve ENOUGH fat, they came up with cheese-infused hashbrowns.


He came into my cube and forced (not really)…forced me to eat one.


I would totally recommend them.

Question: Why don't BK and McDs and other fast-food places serve breakfast for EVERY meal? I’d love to have a greasy croissant sandwich at 7 p.m. And I would bathe in a bathtub of cheesy hashbrowns and eat my way out.

2) "Good Heavens, Miss Sakamoto, you're beautiful!"
Thomas Dolby has a blog.
Check it out. He busts Kevin “Britney’s baby daddy” Federline.
Dolby’s also touring.
He is an 80s god to me.

3) Whassup with the “Univision Principle”? I keep seeing it more and more. The Univision Principal, for those of you unschooled in the ways of Spanish television, is where you pair a beautiful girl with a not-so-handsome guy on a mediocre television show, hoping to increase your viewership. Like Viviana with that fat guy in a bee costume. Like Sarah with Kevin on G4 television's "Attack of the Show" (although I do think that show rawks, and rawks hard). Like that scary guy we saw this morning (urgh) in the music video paired with this drop-dead gorgeous 20-ish woman.
I do, indeed, blame the patriarchy.
Women deserve eye-candy too, fellas. Don’t be struttin’ out your young model girls with their plastic boobies to drool over, and leave us with the low-life-scum men. Let's see some real women, women with a little belly pooch, women with child-bearing hips and no waist, women who don’t face the camera in three-quarter angle from the neck up, women who don’t walk like ponies down a runway. Get real.


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