Monday, March 27, 2006

The Seven Words You Can’t Say

I was riding the school bus one day, back in the days when I still carried a froofy metal lunchbox, when one of the older kids started jawing to his friends about a George Carlin album he’d just gotten. This kid was really animated and excited, about one cut in particular…”The Seven Things You Can Never Say on Television”. I strained to hear what the words were, but the kid got really quiet and he was older, so I didn’t feel comfortable asking him. (Us lil kids is a-scared of the bigger kids.)

So now I’m a grownup. I say and do whatever I want.

Today while talking to a co-worker about the ineptitude of the marketing folks, the small-brain-ness of the CS Manager, and the general lack of give-a-fuck from the management level, I realized that now I swear a lot.

A.
LOT.

Especially at work.

It’s not even Noon and I have followed in the footsteps of Carlin. I have said EVERY ONE of the seven words you can’t say on television here at work. Several times.

They are:

shitpissfuckcuntcocksuckermotherfuckertits

(Really, how delicious is that? VERY delish.)

I have kept my voice down, the white noise and Muzak muffles my expletives, and I don’t talk that way in front of managers.

I think I need a new job. Preferably not on television (well, maybe on cable).

Or I need new swear words that sound like I have a mouthful of flowers. Suggestions are welcome!

4 Comments:

At 12:40 PM, Blogger SVN, prn said...

I used to work with a lot of men in the construction field as a project manager and I heard every nasty word there ever was.

I didn't use swear words much but found if I needed to get a point across, a well placed and emphasized version of "fuck" (fucker,fucking,fucked-up) usually got my point across and ment I was fired up about sumpin'

 
At 4:37 PM, Blogger jo(e) said...

I swear a lot, but I work on a college campus and live in a houseful of teenagers, so no one even notices.

 
At 10:40 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

svnprn: I work with mostly guys, and they swear like I do. I love being the cool girl!

jo(e): That's what I need! Teenagers!

 
At 12:11 AM, Blogger NWO said...

Suggestion: always insert the word in the middle of another word. "Let's downfuckingsize"--that will move you up to a higher tier of potty mouth. If they give you a hard time, just claim you have Tourette's.

 

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