Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Morning is a hellova way to start the day

Today my eyes recoiled in horror
at the approach of contact lenses,
screaming
NYET!
NUNCA!
In a loud, painful, blinky way.

My brain stem, synapses, gray matter,
behaved as a banana smoothie(bland, cold, inert)
while I stood at the bathroom sink
at 5 a.m.
trying to figure out if I was still in the dream about
Tears for Fears
or if I was awake
hoping to god it was almost Saturday.

My pants couldn't not decide their
relative shape
and assumed a position
halfway between
a crouch
and a growl.
(or a crotch
and a grrrl)

No matter what I do,
the cleavage will not go away.

This morning the coffee cup and I
had a difference of opinion
as to where my mouth was.
There was fisticuffs.

No matter what I do,
the thought of an omelet and toast
will not go away.

7 Comments:

At 8:32 AM, Blogger gary rith said...

the cleavage will not go away???

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger Digits said...

Damned mornings...

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger Clowncar said...

Why in God's name do you want your cleavage to go away? In my book cleavage, along with pizza and beer, is always welcome.

I think "blinky" as an adjective is not used nearly enough.

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

I love how men only think of cleavage from their point of view - they have no idea how annoying and in the way it can be. :)

I've had this morning more often than not.

 
At 3:01 AM, Blogger Pand0ra Wilde said...

I had that morning the morning before the PS' dad's funeral. I wound up rinsing my mouth with my Clean and Clear toner.

Oh well... it made for a good "I did a dumbassed thing" story to break the ice before things got serious and we were asked to file into the sanctuary.

 
At 6:44 AM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

gr: Prominent. That's the word I'm looking for. Prominent and bossy.

digits: I'm So much a night person...mornings are like alien beings.

clowncar: You're such a man! I love that! Blinkyblinkyblinky....

Maggie: Of course if men had cleavage, they'd never leave the house!

pand0ra: Toner? Ew yeah! Isn't it funny how the dumb stuff we do makes the best stories? Not the brilliant things we do or the selfless, but the dumb. I should relate the "time I set my bra on fire" story again soon.

 
At 8:05 AM, Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Hmmm..you have cleavage? Send excess my way for I know not what you speak!

 

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