Morning is a hellova way to start the day
Today my eyes recoiled in horror
at the approach of contact lenses,
screaming
NYET!
NUNCA!
In a loud, painful, blinky way.
My brain stem, synapses, gray matter,
behaved as a banana smoothie(bland, cold, inert)
while I stood at the bathroom sink
at 5 a.m.
trying to figure out if I was still in the dream about
Tears for Fears
or if I was awake
hoping to god it was almost Saturday.
My pants couldn't not decide their
relative shape
and assumed a position
halfway between
a crouch
and a growl.
(or a crotch
and a grrrl)
No matter what I do,
the cleavage will not go away.
This morning the coffee cup and I
had a difference of opinion
as to where my mouth was.
There was fisticuffs.
No matter what I do,
the thought of an omelet and toast
will not go away.
posted by Mona Buonanotte @ 7:03 AM
7 comments
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7 Comments:
the cleavage will not go away???
Damned mornings...
Why in God's name do you want your cleavage to go away? In my book cleavage, along with pizza and beer, is always welcome.
I think "blinky" as an adjective is not used nearly enough.
I love how men only think of cleavage from their point of view - they have no idea how annoying and in the way it can be. :)
I've had this morning more often than not.
I had that morning the morning before the PS' dad's funeral. I wound up rinsing my mouth with my Clean and Clear toner.
Oh well... it made for a good "I did a dumbassed thing" story to break the ice before things got serious and we were asked to file into the sanctuary.
gr: Prominent. That's the word I'm looking for. Prominent and bossy.
digits: I'm So much a night person...mornings are like alien beings.
clowncar: You're such a man! I love that! Blinkyblinkyblinky....
Maggie: Of course if men had cleavage, they'd never leave the house!
pand0ra: Toner? Ew yeah! Isn't it funny how the dumb stuff we do makes the best stories? Not the brilliant things we do or the selfless, but the dumb. I should relate the "time I set my bra on fire" story again soon.
Hmmm..you have cleavage? Send excess my way for I know not what you speak!
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