10 Things About….

Cynical Girl tagged me for a crazy meme, which is good ‘cause I’ve been feeling like I wanted to dish some more personal stuff to youse all.

Here are 10 Weird Facts About Mona

1. Every night before I go to sleep, I lie in bed and feel my hipbones. Over and over. Just to make sure I still have them.

2. Malted milk balls…the one food I can’t stand. However, I’ve come to realize that if I suck on them and let them dissolve in my mouth, I don’t gag so much. Sucking, no gagging…a-ha, that explains that other thing….

3. In college, I sent a nasty letter to the new girlfriend of my ex-boyfriend, detailing some true, honest, and pretty damning events of his life. It was anonymous. She broke up with him. I consider that ‘a job well done’. Don’t cross me.

4. I get all wet and gooshy whenever I hear anyone speaking Russian. Or German. Or French. Hell, any language really, and most regional American dialects. That’s probably why I still live in a college town, that world flavour.

5. When I was young, my parents made my brother and me go to Vacation Bible School down the road every summer. They’d do this ‘bible verse search’ thing, where the leader would shout out “Matthew 29:1!”, and the first person to find it in their bible would stand up and read it, then stand at the front of the church where they’d have a ‘showdown’ with the other first-versers. Even though I sometimes found the verse first, I never stood up. Too much pressure. Twenty years later, I stood in front of a packed audience and yelled to the actresses on stage, “I’ve just tasted my menstrual blood!” That felt much better. (It was Wendy Wasserstein’s “Uncommon Women and Others”, a beauty role, but which unfortunately led me to HATE fluffernutter sammies*.)

6. I have an enormous bladder and can hold pee for hours.

7. As a freshman in college, I hocked my high school boyfriend’s class ring and used the money to buy beer.

8. If I had it to do all over again, I would have been either a librarian or a college professor of humanities.

9. My best body feature is my toes. And my collarbones.

10. I still have the raspberry-coloured bathing suit I wore on my high school senior trip to Florida. No, it doesn’t still fit, silly. But I can’t bear to throw it away just in case I get that skinny (or short) again. (I grew nearly an inch my freshman year of college…which reminds me….)

11. I’m always late…late to be born, late to go to school, late to finish puberty, late to get married, late to have kids, late to be called “Ma’am”. This is the best feature of my life.

Yeah I know, I had 11. I’m a rebel like dat.


I’m tagging these gorgeous folks to do the meme:
1. Jeremiah
2. Gypsy
3. Bored Housewife
4. Orange


(*Fluffernutter sammies are made with marshmallow fluff and creamy peanut butter, sandwiched between graham crackers. Oof, I think I’m gonna hurl….)