Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Nothing To Say, So I Say Nothing

1) I keep losing food in my cleavage. Bits of cheese, peanuts, carrots, endive, sunflower seeds, are all somehow ending up in my boob-valley. My boobs haven’t gotten any bigger (unless you count PMS inflation, so don’t piss me off). I think I’m mostly distracted when I’m eating, and thinking of other things to do with my fingers, so any nutrition just…oops!...slips outta them. Either that or I have a hungry pet mouse down there that I’ve forgotten about.

2) From the homeowner department: Does anyone know of a product that will clean the gunk and stains off shingles? (The regular tar-paper-stone shingles like on most houses.)

3) King GWBush will look into price gouging by oil companies. Hmmm…isn’t that like the fox looking into why the chickens are disappearing from the henhouse? The Bush family is oil…their American friends are oil…their Middle Eastern friends are oil…why in the hell would they want to question the profits of their friends and family? Ain’t no way this shit will end with gas at $1.29. The article says it’s a world-wide demand for oil and not just demand in the US. However, figures show Americans are using less oil this year than they did a year ago. Demand is DOWN, folks, why are prices going UP? Oops, I guess this lil rant belongs on Sergei’s political page. (Has anyone else noticed that if you bookmark an article on Yahoo, later if they update it, they over-write the article that was there earlier? That sucks.)

4) Last Friday was my friend and co-worker Tom’s last day. Dammittohell. I’ve requested that we find a replacement that’s young, male, smart, and cute. Whatcha wanna bet they get a 23-year old 40DD blonde girl with a potty mouth and the ability to accessorize? Then I will have no choice but to hate her.

5) Bitch PhD found this, and it’s hysterical. (Note the emphasis on hysterical…look it up here.)

6) I have of late, though I know not where, lost all my mirth when it comes to fantasizing about men. Shit. SHIT! Is it the weather? The PMS? The constant mom-worry? I can’t even get a good shower masturbation fantasy in my dirty little noggin anymore. WTF. Any ideas how I can get that back?


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