Paradise by the Dashboard Light

I'm on a field trip with Girl-child this morning and then work is gonna kick my ass.

1) Well, yeah! What two consenting teenagers do in the privacy of their parents' basement, under the bleachers during a football game, or crunched in the backseat of a 78 Olds at the drive-in movie is nobody's business. (And I reserve the right to change my mind when Girl-child is 14. Seriously. Check back for THAT backpeddling session.)

2) The Cruise Spawn has hatched. Look at this photo...doesn't Katie look like she's about to run, like that Runaway Bride who jilted her fiancee and make up some crazy 'kidnapping' story? Mark my words, this is not gonna end pretty. It's gonna end Michael-Jackson-weird. Katie will 'mysteriously' relocate and leave the baby in Tom's 'capable' hands. And there will be no wedding. (And I reserve the right to look embarrassed and say, "Yeah, I was SO wrong on that. Check back for that lil gem.)

3) "I wanna go back to my little grass shack...." I LOVE that song, and I even know how to pronouce the name of the fish (you do, too, if you know that song).. Ain't it cute?

4) OH! So THAT'S why I paid nearly $3 a gallon for gas the other day. Those Exxon boys needed another yacht. As long as they invite me on board, I'm so cool with dat. Fuckers.