Leonard Bernstein

Headache and nausea

yesterday and today

I’m blaming it on bad salad Saturday night

But then the hypochondriac Mona thinks, Oh Gawd, I’ve got a tumor! (Or ‘Ah-nold’ style from “Kindergarten Cop”…A TOO-MAH…”Ees nada toomah!”)

Or, daaamn, I must have one-a those belly tumors like on the Health Channel.

Or one of those ‘mystery diseases’ like they cover in Discover magazine.

Or the flu…BIRD flu! From some chicken! Or the feathers in Boy-child’s dreamcatcher.

Or an Alien creature is about to burst out of my belly like it did to John Hurd. “GAAAHKK”, and run across the spaceship floor and outta sight.

I’ve been having feverish dreams that include tornados, me as a debutante (gah), crashing planes, back-stabbing, and Survivorman-skiing up mountains.

Is there flu going around, seriously?

And to think, I had a wonderful sex-like post topic ready to expound upon on Saturday, and that will just have to wait dammit until I can move without muttering ouchfuckdammit.