Justification for stealing candy from a baby
When the kids have sports after school (or day camp in the summer), I pack a blue thermos bag with juice boxes, granola bars, crackers, nuts, and whatever snacks I find at arm-reach, for them to eat on the way. Last night I put the remains of the family-size box of Crunch N Munch into two snack size Ziploc bags and threw them in there too.
I have to bring that blue thermos bag into work with me so the food doesn’t get all gross and melty in my hot car. So it sits on my desk and tempts me.
I just opened the bag and those bags of Crunch N Munch looked way too full, like the sides were bulging out and the Ziploc part was close to exploding! Carmel popcorn! All over the bag and probably my desk! So I relieved those bags of heft and zipped them shut (they looked a lot better) and just finished eating the offensive Crunch N Munch. Now I sit in a growing sugar buzz, knowing I saved my kids from certain choking death and/or facial food explosions from that damned Crunch N Munch.
Plus the Crimson Permanent Assurance is in town and it’s day two (also known as Crime Scene Day), so I’ll eat whatever the hell I want and don’t. Try. To. Stop. Me.
Plus the kids prolly shouldn’t eat that much sugar anyhow, and see how careful and considerate a mom I am?
(I will not look in there again and let the chocolate chip granola bars tempt me with their evil luscious goodness…no…I will not…no…aw…dammit….)