Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I Scream Social

I’m on a break (goddamm you “Friends” for making me visualize Ross screaming in that namby-pamby way of his to Rachel…”But we were on a break”, nyah nyah nyah, fucker.).


I’m on a break for a few days, vacation with the family until school starts after Labor Day, and then taking some afternoons off next week to deal with doctor appointments, global warming, and getting fitted for pasties. (The stripper kind, not the all-in-one-food-item the Yoopers like so much…although they are darn tasty.) The Work Boys have been inundating me with the usual Stoopid Projects that keep me employed and up to my eyeballs in free donuts and bad coffee.

What I’m trying to say is, my posting will be spotty the next week or so. No Poetry Friday this week. I will be a Bad Blogger. (But oh-so-good, winkwink.)

Before I leave you to your own wicked devices for a few days, I wanted to say:

1) Sorry, Oasis. Yeah, you, Gallagher brothers, you who said you were more famous than jesus. (I abhor ego, so, really, don’t do that again…notice how you’re not invited on SNL anymore?) I’ve never liked your little musical group there, I mean, your music was fine, a little too ‘lala’ for me, sounds like everyone else, right? And then the jesus thing, well, you’re wankers of a higher caliber, aren’t you? But I digress. This morning I managed some radio time on the way to work and after the lovely PSA, I heard a strumming guitar and recognized the song as “Wonderwall”…and then for whatever bloody reason, my big fat yawp opened up and I started SINGING the song, which I didn’t realize I knew so much of, and tapping my fingers on the steering wheel and who does that to Oasis? After some mental torture (self-induced), I realized, y’know, it’s not really such a bad little tree…I mean, song…sounds like everyone else, right? But not bad. So, Gallagher brothers, I just want to say I don’t think you suck. So much. Anymore. But check the ego or I’ll beat it outta ya.

2) I like the Beastie Boys. I sat at a stoplight this morning and felt my head bobbing to
Yeah, so what, I’m a not-young white woman, soccer mom, inappropriately-dressed software hack, and yes, I. Like. Beastie. Boys.

3) Did you ever get the feeling that you forgot to put on pants this morning and you suddenly realized it when you walked down the hall at work and you had to check yourself seven times (SEVEN) because you didn’t believe your eyes and thought maybe, just maybe, it was That Dream Again and you maybe weren’t really AT work but just dreaming you were and when would the alarm clock wake you up, but then what if you WERE at work, should you really tell the boss’ boss you think he should take the latest Marketing Projections and stick them up his ass? Ever do that? THAT, in a nutshell, is why I need to drink more coffee in the morning.

Have a wonderful holiday weekend, y’all…get some sun, eat something delish, go ahead and have a beer, and please don’t drive impaired. (Yes, I AM your mom.)


At 12:51 PM, Blogger karmic_jay said...

Well you could always get fitted with the edible pasties minus the filling?

Oh I have a hyper active imagination.. pay no attention.
Enjoy your time off.
Oh ya mom we promise to drive carefully! :)

At 4:55 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

Damn I'm gonna miss ya, but have a blast!

I'm with you on the Beastie Boys - there's just something about them makes me want to jump around. And girl, go get some pants on!

At 10:56 PM, Blogger Cynical Girl said...

Intergalactic planetary!!

At 6:14 AM, Blogger D_Man said...

I'm bigger than Jesus.

The best guestimates put him at just 6-feet-tall.

Enjoy the break.


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