Monday, September 11, 2006

Same thing we do every night, Pinky…try to take over the World!

1) Happy Birthday, Chris Garver! (I had a little sexual fantasy re. him this morning, I hope he felt that. And I was gooooood.)

2) Happy Belated Birthday, Colin Firth!

3) I just realized two of my Fantasy Boyfriends have birthdays one day apart.

4) My Fantasy Boyfriend list is in flux, due to the fact that it’s college football season and Kirk Herbstreit always rotates into Floater position but I’m thinking Kirk may be TOO pretty to be on the list anymore but I can’t really ditch him, can I? AND Brendan Shanahan must be purged from the list (sonofabitch, man, leave the Red Wings? You suck.). Chris Garver is moving to temp Fantasy Boyfriend in place of Shanny, ‘cause, well, tats and attitude turn me on.

5) Y’know that post I did last week about how magical early mornings are? Well, I’m fulla shit. Driving to work at 5:30 a.m. this morning all I could think was dammitfuckdammitshitdammit. I gots ta get more sleep or I’ll be dangerous. (More dangerous than the outfit I’m wearing today, which is threatening to slip down like silk boxers on satin sheets, and expose my lovely ta-tas. I look down at my cleavage and mutter, “Damn, girl! Might as well wear pasties!”)

6) My husband’s neck smelled like soy sauce last night when we were DOIN’ IT. Either he splashed some behind his ears when he was dishin’ out lunch sushi, or his girlfriend works at House of Wok. Doesn’t really matter. Salty is as salty does.

7) For the last week or so I’ve been especially eager to wear skirts and shorts (my friend commented on how she’d love to have my legs with all their muscles and stuff, and I’m egotistical like dat). So yeah, then what happens? Canada decides to get medieval on our collective asses and dump arctic air down our pants. I still wore a skirt today, but I look like a total goof, ‘cause everyone else has wool pants on and sipping cocoa. Durh.

8) Last Tuesday I started my yearly Diet to Look Good at the Holidays. I lost 4 pounds in 4 days. BUT. I know it’s not fat. It’s POOP, people. Poop and pee. Water and crap. Maybe Tom Cruise would like to get me an in-home liposuction machine, seeing he’s so fond of Special Doctor Machines for his own use. I’m a peevish dieter, in case you haven’t guessed that already by my scintillating morning conversation starters.

9) Pinky and the Brain is one of the greatest cartoons of our generation. NARF. So imagine my delight upon finding this video of PinkyandBrain…and then this one with Orson Welles from the original outtake that the PinkyBrain episode was based on! Ohjesusbabyyes! Gititgititgitit!

10) Miriam-Webster Online's Word of the Day is "rechauffe"...a pretty high-falutin' way of saying 'rehashing the same damn thing'. Like this list.


At 12:14 PM, Blogger karmic_jay said...

Salty is as salty does

Err I gotta agree.

More dangerous than the outfit I’m wearing today, which is threatening to slip down like silk boxers on satin sheets, and expose my lovely ta-tas

More male colleagues stopping my to err have work discussions?

At 1:32 PM, Blogger Faith said...

Mmm...Kirk Herbstreit. He's definitely yummy. Oddly, he and I agree on many of our football picks, I've noticed. I think he and I belong together, really. It's just a matter of time before we figure out how to make it all work.

Soy sauce!! THAT'S the thing that's been missing from my lovin'!! I'm splashing the fiance tonight, dammit!

At 1:32 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

That's so funny about your early morning post cause it got me thinking and I did a post inspired by it...

Oh my god I forgot all about Pinky and the Brain - jeez I miss my favs like this one and Dexter's Lab.

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Lucia said...

Keep wearin' those short skirts no matter what the weather! If you've got great gams, flaunt 'em!

At 3:12 PM, Blogger Turtle Guy said...

You are one funny lady! I can see why you take to Jeremiah's blog! I must say though, I have to be in one of "those moods" to read you... and right now, lucky for me, I am.

Write on!!

At 5:42 AM, Blogger D_Man said...

It's my birthday in just under a month...


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