Monday, November 06, 2006

Not for the squeamish

When my friends and family and co-workers ask about my recent eye surgery, the ensuing conversation leaves them weak-kneed and pale.


I’m totally with them, y’know. When I knew the surgery was on the calendar, I kept the printout of the Lacrimal System at my desk, and would look at it several times a day so I’d get used to the idea of some doctor guy probing my very delicateness with sharp instruments. At each appointment, I would have to steel myself against the arms of the chair so I wouldn’t pass out. During the pre-op session, the surgical consult woman handed me the tube they’d be using on me…thin and 8 inches long…and the room started spinning, and I had to deep-breathe like Lamaze to keep from throwing up/passing out.

It got better post-op. I could talk about it without retching, and just last night I was looking at my eye and saw the tube…THE VERY TUBE…running down across my tear duct. Freaked me out. But normal.

This morning I saw the ophthalmologist for a second post-op appointment, and he said everything looks great. That portion of the tube is supposed to show, and as I blink, my eyelids move up and down along it. I have new eye drops, and an appointment in two months. And a better sense that yes, even though I can’t wear eye makeup or rub that eye or sneeze thru my nose or blow my honker hard, in 4-6 months it’ll all be over.

Wanna see?

Go here. Scroll halfway down to “The Balloon (Non-Incisional) DCR”. There’s a photo/illustration of what I got. Modern medicine…whoa. Freaky.


At 9:40 PM, Blogger Lucia said...

Ack, ack! I'm going away running and screaming now. Hang in there.

At 10:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oy! You are brave! Hang in :)

At 1:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yow! Tubes going backwards through body holes shivers my timbers. I'm sorry you had to get that done, but I'm glad you're doing okay and here's to a bionic woman-like recovery.

Say, Mona fans, out of sympathy, I say we should all go out and get a Balloon (Non-Incisional) DCR now!

At 5:49 PM, Blogger Pisser said...

I agree, you are like some kind of really hot robot ;)

That must have blown having people ask if you were crying all the if only people would stop asking why my eyes are so red...'cuz I'm a fuckings stoner bunny, OK, a-holes? (Actually 'cuz the glare in here sucks.)

Still, I'd rather endure things being done to my CROTCH than my, er, ooarg.

At 8:55 AM, Blogger Orange said...

That doesn't look so bad at all. I've seen actual incisional eye surgery on TV, and AAAUGHH! My eyes! Watching a sharp blade slice into the surface of an eyeball is an unholy horror. Sliding a tube into the tear duct but leaving the eyeball alone? I'm OK with that.

When I had eye-muscle surgery as a baby, I wonder if they pulled the eyeball out of the socket to access those muscles. You know?

At 9:01 AM, Blogger Maggie said...

Ok, it took me three visits to get through this post. I am squeamish and my eyes kept tearing up. I'm glad you are doing better though.

At 12:43 PM, Blogger meno said...

I'd have a really hard time remembering not to sneeze through my nose for 6 months. Good luck with that.

At 1:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My wife needs surgery on her eyes for the same condition. It appears there are several types of surgeries available. Why did you choose this one? And how are you doing now?

gene (at) motosolutions (dot) com


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