Mammograms! Git yer fresh hot Mammograms here!
I am not, nor have I ever been, “perky”.
That is, perky in the boob-u-lar sense.
I’m telling you this by way of introduction to my attitude to mammograms.
I like them.
I really do.
I’ve never had to worry about perkiness making for a painful experience.
I have the soft voluptuousness that allows for a lift, flop, and gentle manipulating by the inevitable cold tech fingers.
I tried to commit the machine to memory this morning, to give y’all a play-by-play, but really, there’s nothing like the machine…oh, maybe, something like the x-ray machine in your dentist office morphed with HAL from “2001”, mated with one of those robotic arm-thingys they show on the Discovery Channel, and topped off with two square plates that magically compress…and have booby lines where the outer edge of one’s breasteses should be.
I love the techs. We always chat energetically. They’re always nice, animated, concerned, female, and very nonplussed.
I must admit to a bit of…a tiny teeny bit of…fear, afterward, when they have the films and have to check them over to make sure they got a good picture. I worry unnecessarily, of course, as they’re only looking for film quality and not some gigantic mass that screams, “Oh Dear God!”. That comes later. That gets confirmed by a cute little postcard. Or, as I’m told, a serious phone call.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and for all you ladies out there, and for all the gents who love you, make sure you take good care of those little puppies up there. Get those mammograms, do your monthly self-check, don’t ignore any suspicious activity in the general breastal area.
I found out a few weeks ago that a fellow mom-friend of mine has breast cancer. She is having a mastectomy next week, and reconstructive surgery at the same time. They hope all the cancer is isolated in that breast. But they can’t be sure. Her daughter is good friends with my daughter. The mom is my age. Talk about fear…well, jeebus. They feel fortunate they caught it at this stage.
I can’t even imagine.
As I was leaving the Breast Lab this morning, the tech handed me a decorative pink bag with swag inside…a booby pen, some mints, a metallic pink bow pin, other assorted goodies to celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness Month. She also pointed me to the table where I could enter a drawing to win Free Prizes, so of course, I did.
The goodie bag was nice. But it was totally unnecessary.
My nubbins LONG to be squished every year. Just…just in case….