Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I want this night in your ear

1) I woke up singing “Physical (You’re So)” in a strange amalgamation of Adam Ant and Nine Inch Nails…this is NOT conducive to work, by any stretch.

2) Driving to work this morning, very dark, at a crossroads I happened to look right to see what traffic might hit me in the event my brain freaked out and told me the light was green when in actuality it was red. (Doesn’t everyone freak out like that? Like when you’re driving across a bridge and you suddenly realize, oh my god!, if I turn the wheel slightly to the right, I could Kill Us All! Dontcha?) There was no one on the crossroad…I thought…until I saw one small light in the grassy field near the road’s shoulder. My first thought was, of course, ALIENS! They’ve finally landed! Then I thought, Oh, so THAT’S where they bury the dead bodies ‘round these parts. Then the light jiggled a bit, and I quickly thought…two-college-kids-boinking-in-the-field-oh-no-it’s-a-motorcycle. And it was. Motorcycle. Although their very well could be boinking in that field simultaneously. Which made me think…y’know, if you’re gonna ride a motorcycle in the dark like that, on what amounts to a deserted country road, you really should be made to wear some sort of lighted cage around you, something that makes you look like a car, but sexier. A roll-bar sort of event that attaches to the frame of the bike, with multicolored lights that flicker in brilliant patterns and gyrate and perhaps make some sort of bird-whistle sound, so everyone knows you’re coming, especially sleep-deprived early risers who think you’re an alien.

3) I didn’t want to do it. I really didn’t. In fact, I SCOFFED when I saw other people doing it. But there I was. Standing in front of the rack. Picking out snowflake and wreath charms and beadwork to start making Christmas presents. It’s frikkin’ early OCTOBER. What the hell is my problem? That’s a purely rhetorical question…I LOVELOVELOVE the holidays. I love the tingly feeling in my belly when I think of making a huge Thanksgiving dinner and at least 4 desserts. My head gets all dizzy when I think about presents, and how my head nearly explodes when I see The Perfect Gift for someone and buy it, right now, without justifying it. I squeal when I see blue and white decorations. The menorahs come out, and the dreidel at school parties, and gelt. I love that my kids celebrate Kwanzaa by making beautiful placemats and having a special lunch. Chinese New Year, the red decorations and the sweets. I’m so thankful I live in a city where we celebrate everything. I’m thankful for craft stores and the internet and multiculturalism and a community of family. Schmaltzy, yes, but don’t you feel the same way, even a little?

4) One of my on-line tech newsletters this morning said hackers posted a fake notice on Google’s blog…in Blogger. The article doesn’t mention how it was done. So now I’m wondering…uh…Blogger? Could ya at least make sure no one hacks into my blog, and if they do, can they at least post something funny?


At 9:07 AM, Blogger Maggie said...

Mona, those were aliens. Didn't you know aliens only ride motorcycles? I love the lighted roll-bar. I started picturing late night pedestrians encircled in body shaped light cages. Psychadelically dreamy.

At 11:38 AM, Blogger Orange said...

Eh, I could do with minimizing the holidays a bit.

I don't have occasion to drive on many bridges, but I used to find my mind wandering to the consciousness of "if I steered a little to the left, that'd make for a helluva head-on collision." That's the beauty of the social contract—everybody knows they could drift into oncoming traffic, and yet they strive to avoid doing so.

At 4:02 PM, Anonymous Serra said...

I'm making the first soaps for Christmas today. Then again, I deal with a cure time on my stuff, so I have to get in gear early because there's little that will change my already-shortened cure times.

At 10:20 PM, Blogger Mother of Invention said...

I love the idea if the lighted cage around motorcyclists!
And yes, I love the December holidays...I've picked a few gifts already and my choir is practisind seasonal songs. Where I live it is mostly just Christmas in this little Waspish town.

At 8:17 PM, Blogger gypsy said...

I hate Christmas. Maybe I'll adopt your philosophy and start celebrating EVERYTHING and then I'll like Christmas just a little more.

At 8:51 PM, Blogger Teri said...

Christmas presents? Get the behind me, Satan! It's not even Halloween yet! Much less Thanksgiving!


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