Monday, October 09, 2006

My own sign says, I’m sorry, I’m smokin’….

1) I woke up this morning with the taste of Mike Doughty in my mouth. I don’t remember the actual dream, just his face asking me a question and waiting for the answer.

2) I watched, “Thank You for Smoking” last night, and have yet another Floater Fantasy Boyfriend in the wings with Aaron Eckhart.

3) Had a great birthday, lots of presents and love, got to sleep in AND got to see the Deee-troit Tigers beat the crap outta the Yankees and advance in the playoffs. Awesome-est awesome. (Derek Jeter, y’know I think you’re hot and all, but all’s fair in love and baseball.)

4) I feel perfectly okay being the bitchy old woman bitch, which comes with age and a ‘don’t fuck with me’ attitude. I yelled at the pharmacists at the grocery store last week when they ignored me at the counter to take all the drive-up customers. Yelled at them with my pink-eyed 9-year old son beside me, who was hungry and frustrated. YELLED. Got service. Have a nasty letter formulating in my head, all about Customer Service and future purchases. I will bitch again. Oh yes. I will.

5) My current girl-crush is on Amy Sedaris. Sergei bought me her book, “I Like You”, for my birthday, and while I haven’t had time to read much yet, I can tell already that at least half a dozen of it’s pages will be stuck together with drool at her fantabulousness. I want to cover her in icing and sprinkle her up with jimmies. Mmmm…jimmies….

6) Speaking of girl crushes, can I give a shout-out to girlfriends in general? I mean, the girl-girlfriends? My good friend Lynn invited me out to dinner for our birthdays (hers was a few weeks ago), and this morning my good work-girlfriend Amy gave me the best-smelling hug (and the promise of ‘some little thing’ she forgot at home), AND my goodgood friend Lisa brought me flowers…FLOWERS!...in a pot!...with a mylar Happy Birthday balloon…AND the birthday card we’ve been trading back and forth for a few years now, wherein two dogs say, “We’re a couple of hot bitches!” Damn how I love that!

7) Jeebus Gawd, is there NOTHING I can eat? Lettuce and beef are two of my staple foods…. Fack….

8) Too much, doctah...had my surgical consult last Friday for my lousy tear duct, and I really wish doctors wouldn't tell me SO much. I mean, I know they have to for liability and such, but really, when I'm sitting there swooning and trying not to pass out because of the details, there's no sense going on. Just tell me I'm having surgery, tell me I'll heal in 5 days, and that I need to learn to sneeze out my mouth, and I'll be good.

8 Comments:

At 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am happy you had a fun time. As a Yankee fan I did feel bad they lost, but heck with that huge a payroll they really have to do better. As *A* says it's all about having good pitching which frankly they lack. Amm happy for the Tigers though.

Hope all goes well with the surgery.

taste of Mike Doughty in my mouth. I will just say my mind went of in a unrelated direction there. Well it's been known to do that, and I will leave it at that. :)

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger Faith said...

Sneeze out your mouth? Wait a minute...how did you sneeze before you developed this problem? Because I'm a hold-the-nose-when-I-sneeze-in-public kinda girl, and if I need to stop doing that in case my crappy insurance company won't help with issues with tear ducts in the future, I will. Inform me, will ya?

And beef? BEEF was recalled, too? Fuck.

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger Lucia said...

Damn, sweet, I'd love to have MD in my mouth, er, the taste of him in my mouth, er, you know what I mean. Was the question, "Is it soup yet? Is it soup yet?"

Mmm...Amy Sedaris makes a pretty fine girl-crush.

Just catching up on blogs having returned from Africa a coupla hours ago.

 
At 6:54 PM, Blogger jo(e) said...

I was gone over the weekend -- off with a bunch of women friends -- so I didn't get a chance to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 
At 7:05 PM, Blogger gypsy said...

I watched Thank You For Smoking this weekend as well.

Brilliant. Glad you liked it too.

And screw those Yankees!!!

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger Orange said...

Ooh, happy birthday!

 
At 10:28 PM, Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Good luck when you have the surgery. What if you start crying while they're working on your tear duct? I've never heard of that but I imagine it's routine...(for them!)

 
At 11:24 AM, Blogger Marcheline said...

Hap-hap-happy birthday, moan, moan, MONA!!!

- M

 

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