Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Little Orange Tabs

I'm time trippin'....

It's Tuesday night, and I know tomorrow morning will be so busy I'll forget to pee again, and then I'll almost pass out because I forgot to eat something, and then Suicidal-Guy-in-Loveless-Marriage in the adjoining cube will start bangin' away at company sacred cows and demand I join in the slaughter.

The last two nights I've slept 4 hours each night. "Sleep" being a relative term, as both nights were accompanied by the wicked clarity of dreams that had me wondering what my real name was, and do I wear pants in public, and is it okay if I just go kiss that girl simply because I want to?

I want granola. Now. And fuzzy socks. And a warm arm around my waist as I drift off into the vast ocean of scissor-teeth shark nightmares and brilliant fish and dreams of fresh mangos I rip open and eat naked on the beach, the juice running down my arms and my ribs, collecting in pools in the ledges of my thighs.

I actually had a point to this post, more so than the usual bitching about my sleeping habits. Hmmm....

A confession, I guess.

I bought orange Tic-Tacs last weekend, and when I popped one in my mouth, I was head-transported to me as a schoolkid, seeking something sweet, and finding it in a bottle of orange baby aspirin in the cupboard. Remember that stuff? Bayer children's aspirin, I think, in Unnatural Orange Flavor. I'd pop a couple in my mouth when the cookies were gone and be pretty sated. I loved that stuff. Did you ever do that? Eat something you shouldn't because it tasted good to you?

Steven in kindergarten ate paste.

I'm sorry, but even that's too weird for me.


At 8:33 AM, Blogger gr said...

I remember kids in first grade eating dog biscuits, but my only weak spot is for dumping peanut butter all over my chocolate, even into a sundae. Never have put peanut butter on my __________ though. Maybe I should.

At 12:41 PM, Blogger Bugg said...

Okay as a little kid I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Luden's cherry cough drops. They were just like candy.

And I don't know why but I also loved ham and grape jelly sandwiches. My parents must have thought I was on crack. I gag when I think about eating that now.

At 12:56 PM, Blogger Sanjay said...

lol ya paste sure is weird.

At 1:35 PM, Blogger Marcheline said...

My guilty kid pleasures:

1. The vitamin drops my parents used to give my baby sister.

2. (yes!) Orange flavored baby aspirin.

3. The powdered cake mix packets from my Easy Bake Oven. Tear off corner, lick finger, stick into the packet, and suck powder off finger. Repeat. A lot easier than baking!

4. Stealing sugar packets off the table at fancy grown-up restaurants while grown-ups weren't looking. Ingestion method same as #3.

5. Once thought I'd hit the goldmine when I discovered my mom's stash of baking chocolate in the deep kitchen drawer. Ewwwww! Never did THAT again.

At 2:08 PM, Blogger Lucia said...

What a dull girl I must have been. I can't think of a thing. But now...now is a different story and I'm right there with you with a big pile of ripe juicy mangos fresh from the tree.

At 3:44 PM, Blogger meno said...

Three things come to mind.
1) Instant Mashed potato flakes, dry.
2) The "diet" candies of my mothers that were, i swear to god, called Ayds.
3) Those tiny little cocktail onions.

At 4:56 AM, Anonymous d-man said...

I think your dreams are telling you that you should kiss that girl. And document the event with photos and then email them to me.


At 7:04 AM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

gr: Yes. Please. Put peanut butter on your _________ and post that. Pretty please.

bugg: DITTO on the Ludens! I loved that cherry twang....

Sanjay: Steven used to eat a lot of other weird things, too. Someday I'll post about that.

Marcheline: I had the same experience with baking chocolate. They really should re-label that stuff for kids with a big WARNING skull and crossbones.

Lucia: I saved you a mango. I also have some papayas around here somewhere....

Meno: Ayds! I used to steal those from MY mom! Wait...is this like The Parent Trap and you show me a photo of your mother and it's MY mother?

d-man: Again? You don't have the ones I sent you before?

At 7:53 AM, Blogger Mother of Invention said...

I ate lots of the real stuff of candy but I do remember Luden's and Smith Brother's cough candies!
Vit. c was always a good sub for candy....still is!
Jello powder was good too.


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