Monday, February 11, 2008

Plus One/Minus Two

When I got in my car this morning and turned the key, my car whined sickly, like my kids when they have fever and body aches and I make them sleep instead of watching Spongebob all afternoon. Whined and then turned over, screeching with the frozen oil attempt to lubricate. My car has a thermometer on the panel, right next to my odometer, to measure the temp outside. It said 1 degree Fahrenheit.

10 minutes later, as I pulled up to work, the thermometer said Negative 2 degrees Fahrenheit.

Which I don’t quite understand.

It's morning. We're heading toward spring.

We should be starting to tilt toward the sun, correct? Even if the sun isn’t over the horizon yet? How in. The. Hell. Could the temperature drop three degrees in a matter of a) 10 minutes, and 2) 7 miles?

Sergei and I have discussed the crappy situation Michigan is in with losing jobs and no money, and Sergei thinks we should invite some businesses from the southern states…you know…the states that have no water…to come to Michigan, bring some jobs to replace the auto industry ones, plug our natural beauty and proliferate rain and snow, and beautiful Great Lakes. I think he’s on to something. Money in our state would be nice. But for me, cynically, in a schadenfreude known only to us Northerners, I just wanna see how freaked out those Southerners get when they have to drive on snowy roads. As long as I'm at a safe distance.

(This is just stupid enough to make me laugh. Plus, I loves me some Zach Galifianakis.)


At 7:00 PM, Blogger Irrelephant said...

Speaking as one of your most southerly of readers, I can say with perfect surety that southerners can't drive when it RAINS a lot, much less snow. It's snowed twice in the past thirty years here--the time before, in 1985, it snowed about three inches. They closed the schools, the state government, and most of the churches.

At 8:45 PM, Blogger gr said...

the cold weather sucks rotten eggs, Mona, we have it too, with a dose of snow coming....sure sure sure, all par for the course in winter in the north, but man, it stinks and you hate it.
Speaking of something else entirely, if you want a monster mug with a tongue, Mona, have a look at potsblog..special deal for Mona's eyes only!

At 11:21 AM, Blogger Clowncar said...

That's pretty freakin cold.

I almost lost an earlobe to frostbite once, when I was living in Mpls. Walking home, across town, late at night, 20 below. to notice at the time. A layer of earlobe skin died and fell off over the next several days. Kinda scary.

Earlobe Skin. Good name for a blues singer.

At 8:07 AM, Blogger Maggie said...

Non-snow drivers can be so stupid. I'm one of them. But having lived here in snow country for four years, I've learned a thing or two and now I can fake it with the best of them (best of the fakers that is).


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