Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Underpants. Girls Underpants

1) “Underpants” is a funny word. It makes kids giggle. And grownups to ask, “Where? Where underpants?”

2) When were underpants invented? Anyone? Cavemen? Did Jesus wear underpants? George Washington? Montezuma?

3) It only recently occurred to me that when I’m sorting laundry, by the end my hands are prolly covered with Underpants Cooties. Eeew-yuck.

4) I never come to work Commando. I did go Commando after my surgery last summer, for weeks. It felt weird to put underpants on afterwards, I mean, why? I didn’t have to use them as a cargo-net back-up catch for menses…I don’t particularly like when my panties peek up from my pants if I bend over just right…they just get in the way of spontaneous half-asleep wake-up sex. Are they really so attractive that we feel we need to wear them?

5) Actually, those boxer-briefs are really sexy.

6) Thongs and I don’t get along. Maybe if I had a better, tighter ass I’d change my mind.

7) It wasn’t until I was in high school, helping my mom fold the laundry, that I discovered that men’s underpants had an front opening to make it easier to whip it out and pee. What a gyp. Dropping trou just to pee sucks.

8) Shiny underpants of man-made materials make my cooter sweat.

9) I have worn men’s boxers as shorts.

10) Farmer Ted held 'em up, but John Cusack rocked the place.


At 9:07 AM, Blogger Maggie said...

See men have it made no matter what. Even in the underpants department.

At 9:44 AM, Blogger Mother of Invention said...

My grandma gave me a boy's pr of pj's by mistake when I was a kid, and, having no brothers, I actually tried to pee through the hole....well, my mom sewed up that sucker pretty darn quick...after washing them!

At 8:01 AM, Blogger patches said...

I had a friend in college who sewed the pee hole shut on all of her bf's underwear for an April Fool's gag. She waited days for him to react. Turns out, he didn't bother with the hole, he just tugged down the waistband instead.


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