Thursday, August 25, 2005

Punch the Clock

Stupid stupid work.

I should play the lottery.

I should WIN the lottery.

Sitting in an office, day after day, project after project…sigh.

Rushed around and rushed around this morning, getting sleepy me up, getting sleepy kids up, and fed, and dressed, and cleaned, and packed, and goddamn cat hurled her food and water dish down the basement stairs this morning in a fit of evil feline narcissism, and damn college student traffic and WHY THE HELL would the city start major repair of major streets the week the students get back to town? Faaaack!! My 5-year old has more sense than that.

Anyway, bust ass, right? Pull into work, right? Get here, plop down in front of pc with steaming cup o’ java, to…utter boredom. $*$&@^! I’d left a note for my programmer, Jim, on the project we need to get in by this Friday, his program crashed miserably, oh crap, and he needs to fix it. Did he? In the 1 ½ hours since he’s been here, did he fix the thing I need fixed?

No. Nyet. Nuh-uh.

So I’m stopped dead.

Isn’t the first time, I mean, in this line of work, it’s all stop/start/stop/start, depending on what has to be done and who has to make decisions and what kind of crap they’re shoveling on any given day. (Today is lovely steaming heaps of horse ca-ca.) But really, if yer not gonna have my stuff ready, call me and I’ll sleep in! I won’t yell at the kids for the fifth time to get their shoes on! I’ll give Sergei a little sexual tweak-tweak (the Red Aunt left town today, babe!)!

Thing is, I get paid to sit here. As long as I’m on-site, I get paid. Which is so much bullshit. I mean, what about all those times when I’m home and I’ll have questions or ideas or flashes of brilliance and do a little write-up for work? Do I get paid? Hell! No! But if I drag my sorry ass here, I do. Telecommuting? Yeah, I’ve justified that to my boss before, and his boss doesn’t like it (she’s our interim HR manager who’s never taken an HR class and is basically here to be a bitch.) I like my job, don't get me wrong. I like it a lot. But I want to DO it, not wait for it.

It's not like I have nothing to do, I can keep adding onto the project, simulate more 'real life scenarios', but why? It's like if you're in the grocery store and your cart is full and you want to check out but ALL the lanes are closed, so you shop and shop some more and put more stuff in your cart, and then finally they open a couple lanes and you wait and wait and then, when it's your turn, you unload your basket of goodies, cursing, "How did THIS get in here? I don't need this! Mints for cats? What was I thinking?" Sorta like that.

So I’ll scan some blogs, do a little poetry research (maybe Friday should be Poetry Day…hmmm), and figure out how I want to pose myself to take a boobie picture to accompany tomorrow’s post. Drink more coffee, eat some cheese (mmmm…cheese!), and try to stay away from the Night Operator, as everywhere he goes this morning, he’s leaving a trail of stench that smells like Fritos. Really ripe Fritos. I may never eat another corn chip again.

Hot College Student of the Day: Seen riding bicycle in the middle of campus this morning, khaki shorts, green shirt. Shaved head. Huge backpack. Muscular biceps. The kind of thick exercised thighs reminiscent of Lance Armstrong but without the scary “oh-my-god!” definition. His path kept paralleling mine. Nice ass, too. I’m liking the shaved head look, I really am. And the khaki'd ass look. I reeeally am.


At 9:27 AM, Blogger midwest_hick said...

lol....Nothing like hurrying wait huh?

At 9:52 AM, Blogger Orange said...

Could be worse. You could be bored and not be able to get away with blog writing and blog reading while you wait for the asshats.

Please don't ruin Fritos for me. I do love 'em.

Wait, is Friday Boobday or Poemday? I'm getting confused here.

Amen to the amateur biker bod. My husband was on the cycling team in college, and his thighs and ass? H. O. T. Firm and meaty.

At 12:08 PM, Blogger Serra said...

How about pics to go with the descriptions?

At 1:17 PM, Blogger No_Newz said...

If you post your boobies, I'll send all of my guys readers over to check them out. :)
Sorry about the useless day. I hope the "hurry up and wait" is over before you know it.
Lois Lane

At 2:51 PM, Blogger Sergei C. said...

Serra: Mona has a camera on the cell phone I got her. Lord knows what she'll do with it if she ever figures out how to use it.

At 3:07 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Midwest: ...and then of course they SWAMP me with work this afternoon. *$&#^@!

Orange: I think photos of your hubby's biker thighs would be a wondrous thing! And I'm thinking Poemday on Friday with perhaps a photo to scare up interest! (The ol' bait and's boobies! No! It's poetry!)

Serra: I was having a pretty hard time driving and watching Bicycle Man, so also holding a camera would have sent me into a ditch...BUT, I'm thinking, good reason to pull him over for a cheesecake photo op!

Lois: I hope they don't mind just cleavage...I'm only a minor/safe exhibitionist!

Sergei: Ah-hah! THAT'S why you haven't shown me how to download my pics! C'mon, baby, I'll be good! ;-)

At 3:28 PM, Blogger Teri said...

Fritos stink on a good day. A person that smells like Fritos? *gags* Coffee is good, though. Very, very good.
Thanks for stopping by my blog.

At 4:52 PM, Blogger annush said...

i feel your pain...i'm one of those who also gets paid to sit down and do nothing sometimes. It makes me almost suicidal sometimes...


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