Shameless Product Endorsement
‘Homeopathic’ medicine…I’ve come to believe in the stuff.
I’ve been fighting a cold here, a cold there, since late summer, pissing me off with every sneeze and cough and choking hack that brings up another bit of lung material.
About a month ago, my work friend Celia recommended I try Zicam, the swabs you swirl around in your nose.
It sounded easy, albeit a bit gross (and it brought to mind lyrics from a Barry Louis Polisar song: “Don’t put your finger up your nose/‘cause your nose knows it’s not the place it goes/you can sniffle/you can sneeze/but I’m asking you please/don’t put your finger up your nose.”).
What the hell.
I slunk to the store and bought some of the stuff.
Okay. They’re individually-wrapped swabs, bathed in a clear jel. You open the packet and stick a swab in one nostril, just a quarter of an inch in, and swirl it around. Then pull it out, push your nostril closed for 15 seconds, and throw the swab away. Repeat with another swab in another nostril.
It was dumb.
Jeebus Monty Christo in an unobstructed airway!
Within a few days, my cold symptoms were gone. Totally. I could breath, no coughing, no runny eyes, no sinus headache. CURED!
Since I volunteer in the kids’ school library, handling all the returned books, loaded with germy germs from coughs and neglected bathroom washings and god-knows-what from the bottom of their lockers, I got another cold this weekend.
This time I bought Zicam ‘Oral Mist’. It says it’s Mint, but it tastes like shit. I started it Sunday. And last night, Monday night, I actually slept straight through, didn’t wake to run to the bathroom in an emergency-nose-blow, or launch into a coughing fit, or wake up with a Mohave Desert mouth from sleeping with it open.
My colds never stop this quickly on their own. I can only figure it’s the Zicam.
Now, my question is…is this a placebo? Or do their active ingredients, Zincum Aceticum and Zincum Gluconicum, really do something magical? Does anyone know? Help?