Thursday, December 15, 2005

Things I Learned At The IT Department Luncheon Yesterday

1. If the first person there orders beer, then everyone drinks beer.

2. Be nice to the waitstaff, and they’ll be happy to help you move to another table…three times.

3. Separate checks are not only a good idea, they’re mandatory.

4. It’s okay to eat your soup if the person beside you has no soup. It’s also okay for them to ask for a chunk of the cheese covering your lovely French onion soup BUT it’s only okay for you to give them the chunk if you’ve seen them cry or seen them naked.

5. Salad bars are overrated.

6. When it comes to Secret Santa, *everyone* is a suspect.

7. The most religious person of the group always drinks the most.

8. If you order filet mignon, and you insist on getting a bowl of ranch dressing to dip your filet mignon in, expect some horrific teasing.

9. It’s okay to mercilessly tease the boss when he relates the side-splitting story of how he tried to fix his own furnace, turning a $40 replacement job into a $400 ‘call the repairman’ job.

10. If you split dessert with someone, ask the waitstaff for a separate plate. And another fork.

11. Only be as loud as the raucous table of 12 next to you.

12. Wear loose pants.

13. Leave before you get too drunk. Or too friendly.

Oh, and as for yesterday's quiz, here are the answers, in short form, as I am again hard-pressed to goof-off today. Each one will make a future post. Make sure I do that.

Q1: b
(Everyone experiments in college with *something*. The experience was fine, but it wasn't my flavour. Although I'd do Lisa or Orange in a second!)

Q2: b
(Almost all bodily fluid is salty. It's saline-based. Except poop, which is...uh...poop-based.)

Q3: c
(I'm too easily distracted. One thing at a time, fella....)

Q4: c
(After drinking a bottle of Boones Farm Strawberry Hill. Ah, country life.)

Q5: not so much busted, we're all frantic with end-of-year crap around here, and it was Lonely-Guy-In-Loveless-Marriage, so he has bigger fish to catch, gut, and fry.


At 7:45 PM, Blogger Cynical Girl said...

Holy crap, my IT department is NOTHING like that!

I want to come and do your Human Resources.

At 2:25 PM, Blogger Pisser said...

I love French Onion soup, and would be willing to cry, naked, for a chunk of that cheese. ;)


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