Monday, December 12, 2005

If we hadn’t been in a moving vehicle, it would have been accompanied by interpretive dance, a la Martha Graham, or perhaps Bob Fosse.

I was rewarded with art on the way to school this morning. One of the benefits of living through those early childhood years, when you’d sooner plunge a spork in your bloodshot eyes than watch another episode of ‘Sesame Street’. It’s so much fun when kids get to elementary school.

Boychild and Girlchild sat in the backseat singing a round, a commercial round:

“Give me a break!
Give me a break!
Break me offa piece of that
Kit-Kat Bar!”

Around and around and around. Harmonizing. With ‘jazz hands’.

Then Boy-child hid his face in his coat hood, a stocking cap, and the Velcro closure of the coat, and squealed, “Where am I?!”, laughing hyena-like. Girl-child, 5 going on 15, chimed in, “I took your face and I’m gonna sell it on E-Bay!”

How did they know about E-Bay? Stupid commercials. Stupid television.

So I had to ask, “Is there something you can talk about that’s not a commercial?”

As if on cue, Boy-child made up this song, on the spot:

“Chunk-O, the Flying Squirrel!
It’s Chunk-O the Flying Squirrel!
Chunk-O the Flying
Chunk-O the Flying
(He’s my favourite superhero!)
Chunk-O the Flyyyyyying Squuuuuuuuuuuirrel!”


Not to be outdone, Girl-child chimed in with:

“It’s Big Head the Flying Nut!
Big Head the Flying Nut!
Big Heeeeead the Flyyyyyying Nuuuuuuut!”


So now I’m giggling and my eyes are watering. And the kids are breathless with ‘heeeheeeeheeee’-ing, and I turn into the school parking lot, where Boy-child says, “So which superhero is better? I think Chunk-O!”

And surprisingly, Girl-child agreed. “Chunk-O!”

Boy-child added, “And when you press a button on his superhero back, he says one of a number of phrases, like ‘Chunk-It-Up!’, or ‘Ha-Ha!’, or ‘Curse you Kittens!”

“Curse you Kittens!”????????

I sure hope the other moms didn’t see me pick myself up offa the sidewalk after that one.

And here endeth the Mommy-Blog for the day.

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