Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Her mouth was wide and sweet as well

Work ain’t supposed to be sexy, unless you’re a stripper or a musician who gets somma dat ass on tour.

Work ain’t supposed to be sexy, especially in the IT department, fulla geek-boys who’d rather write code than watch football.

Work ain’t supposed to be sexy, working under deadline and feeling like your bowels will explode under the pressure of more management shit.
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However.

In my IT Project Planning meeting this morning, I got all ooshy-gooshy when the geek-guys started talking about dlls and servers and files and routers and dotnet this and VB6 that and turning to me to ask, “Can we get together later to poke around in there?” I could feel that sexy smell coming out from my nethers, I swear.

And.

While investigating a system-expansion thing just now during lunch, I caught myself fellating a carrot. Quite aptly, I should add.

What?
The?
Fuck?

Now, y’all are computer-savvy, to some degree. Does this computer stuff turn you on? Anything about it? Does your cooter quiver when you hit ‘Publish Post’ on your latest blog? Do you enjoy fooling with the html? Does Technorati make you scream, “Oh Yes! Oh Baby, right there!”??

‘Scuse me, I’m needed to discuss ‘software’ with one of the guys, and it might involve me taking off my sweater….

11 Comments:

At 1:57 PM, Blogger Elliot said...

Will...stay...on...task. Work...not...sexy...NO! Will...apply thumb clamp now...AHH! Much better...

 
At 2:03 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Elliot: One of the guys just set me up to "IIL" myself. (pant pant pant). Hand me one-a them clamps, wouldja?

 
At 2:13 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Oops, I meant "IIS" (Internet Information Services). I can spam myself, ohbabyohbabyohbaby.

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger Teri said...

you must be crazy bored at work1

Dull. Management. Must. Distract. Self.

What can I think about? Oh! SEX!

Happy now...

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger Orange said...

Maybe this picture will take your mind off work.

 
At 7:50 PM, Blogger jo(e) said...

You what I really love? When an attractive man starts talking html to me. Oh, baby.

 
At 10:00 PM, Blogger Rob said...

Orange, how do you put a link to a page or a pic in your comments like you did? Mona, you can probably tell me how too -- if talking HTML doesn't get you so distracted you have to pleasure yourself and you forget all about answering my question! ;-)

 
At 12:04 AM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Teri: Work is where I host some of my best fantasies! If they only paid me to do it....

Orange: Thanks, O, thanks for yet another hot sexy male blogger to crush on...now I'll have *that* in my head all night....

jo(e): I 100% agree. And I love it when an attractive man makes SQL jokes in conversation. Oooohhh.

Rob: Orange is the queen of this. She sent me that photo. Sorry, I have only one hand to type wiht and...and...

 
At 1:23 AM, Blogger figleaf said...

Wow, looks like I came to the right place! (Thanks, Orange.)

Rob: Not all comment pages let you add HTML tags for fear of also allowing malicious scripts and redirects. Almost all will let you insert a link, add <em>phasis and piddly little stuff like that. If you want to add a link you type <a href="http://your url">link text</a> and the link will magically appear. You usually can't do SPANs, certainly can't do DIVs or javascript, and probably can't use old, deprecated HTML 1.0 stuff like CENTER tags. Which is all for the best anyway since it's a) usually ugly and b) usually tried only by comment spammers.

Jo(e): I couldn't think of any SQL jokes offhand but while I was Googling around I did find the following suggestive snippet in a discussion forum: "Please do not strip attributions when you quote someone."

But really, Mona, I wanted to let you know that IT productivity would drop percipitiously if any of the guys knew any woman, in an IT department anywhere, got turned on while contemplating IIS configurations. (Unless they're programming in Perl since Perl programmers already know there's more than one way to do it.)

Oh yeah, I could get real comfy-like reading a blog like this.

The one fly in the ointment: as far as I know I've never gotten aroused while actually coding anything.

Take care,

figleaf

 
At 10:44 AM, Blogger Charlie said...

I've never been aroused by coding, either. But I do sometimes get the same feeling I get when listening to music. It's like I'm appreciating art. Sadly, I've never been aroused by music, either.

 
At 11:22 AM, Blogger Orange said...

Mona, I'll have to tell my husband to unveil some software-testing jokes for you. Ooh, baby...

 

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