What Acting Got Me

I did community theatre before the kids came, and was a member of a local actors workshop. It’s been 10 years since I”ve tread the boards, and sometimes I really miss it. Other times…not so much.

Musing over my beautiful cuppa decaf Earl Grey this morning, I made a mental list of just what came out of that experience:

1) I met Sergei while we were co-stars in a play. I had to rehearse kissing and kissing and kissing him. And I saw him almost naked during one memorable brush-up rehearsal. So, of course, I had to marry him.

2) I now have several bookshelves full of plays, scripts, and acting tomes. I reference them from time to time to remember witty lines. Or to marvel at just how GOOD some playwrights are. I love Mamet. Shakespeare rocks. Orton needed to chill. Sam Shepard, yeah, dat shit is dope. That saying, "Art imitates Life" is really true if a play is good. There’s a scene in “Hurlyburly” where the man and woman are trying to figure out where to eat out (“Chinese?” “Yeah, that’s okay” “We can do something else” “Whatever” “But what do YOU want?” “I don’t care!”). Hmmm...where have I heard THAT before??

3) I can tell whether or not that cramp is appendicitis. I played a patient for the medical school staff of Local University, and now I know that pain in the lower right quadrant is your appendix. Elsewhere, it’s probably gas, or crap, or maybe worms from that underdone pork roast you ate, chum. I also know the symptoms of torn cartilage and how to react when being told you have gonorrhea (this was ACTING, people). (Oh, these bits were filmed for the students and teachers to look over later, I'd have 6 to 8 individual students each session…I wish I could see those videos now…a 22-year old kid doesn’t know WHAT to do when someone starts crying and moaning all over ‘em….hehheh…great fun!)

4) I get to scream “I know them!” when one of my old acting buddies shows up on tv, or a regional play.

5) I got to keep the leather chaps and leather mini-skirt from that play I did. I had the leather jacket already. I was bitchin'.

6) I can sound very eloquent when making fun of my managers. (“O that adulterous, that incestuous beast!”)

7) The HR person made me the voice of the company’s “Phone Lady” because she’d seen me on stage.

8) I can fake being ‘busy’ at work. Like now.

Have a great weekend, y’all!