Dirty Girl Confessional
I can't believe I'm really typing this now, and I'm not sure how you'll take it.
But.
Bless me, bloggers, for I have sinned.
I've never been to confession. Til now.
Sunday night I sequestered myself in the bedroom in front of the computer, to 'get some work done'.
HAH FRICKIN' HAH!
I read some blogs. I followed some links. And then...
...I found a blog (an ADULT blog) with lots of pretty pictures and pretty words, and my cooter started tingling, and...
..well...
I WAS alone...
..I DID have pjs on with no undies...
...so me and Mr. Righthand got down.
Yeah.
I masturbated to blog porn.
Which was sorta weird, 'cause I'm right-handed, and that means my predominant self-love hand is right, BUT the Page Down key is ALSO on the right, so I had to do a sort of cross-hands thing so my left hand was paging down frantically and the right hand was trying to get some damn space to rub my lil button.
In the end, tho, it was pretty durn good.
I'm sorta embarassed, but what the hell? Not like I was caught picking my nose in front of the Pope or somethin'....
Anyone else see something SOOOOO incredibly sexy online that they just had to 'release the hounds'?? Don't lie.
posted by Mona Buonanotte @ 12:02 AM
10 comments
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10 Comments:
Well, I'm going blind and my hands are hairy. Is that a clue?
Are you kidding? I've masturbated to the Olympics. Rest assured, the internet is not a virgin by my hands.
I went to Figleaf's blog a couple nights ago and explored a bunch of links from the latest Sugasm list. Then I quite abruptly hauled my husband off his computer—where he was doing work and not thinking about sex—led him to the boudoir, and reoriented his mind and body.
And I did think to myself, Why don't I read bloggerotica when I'm alone? Just close the living room curtains (my computer's near a window) and get busy...
Um, make mine a very loud, very succinct, "FUCK YES." All. The. Time.
Somehow, I'm sure this surprises no one. :)
p.s. I thought you said there would be boobies.
I'm a Literotica fan. And I have mastered the left-hand-reach-over-to-hit-the-down-arrow since I discovered it. It's a talent, really. I don't have many, so I need to be pleased with the ones I've been blessed with...
Yes, take (and post) a picture of the cleavage you're sporting today.
Yeah, and....?
nw: Do you shave your palms or pluck? I Nair mine.
Rob: You can spank me as soon as you get a blog I can visit. Are you spanking the monkey even now?
Hack: I've thought about it at work, but we have these huge bathrooms with echoes, and I think perhaps I'd get in trouble. The electrical closet in the back, though....
Maine: Damn, I knew those ice skating hotties would git ya. They're jailbait, man!
Orange: That Figleaf is a treasure trove of blog porn. I should really send him a boobie photo or something to say 'thanks'.
Lisa: Oh there will be boobies. I'm just a lazy-ass bitch with arms too short to reach the camera. LIked yours today, baby!
Faith: Yeah, I need to hone my cross-over reach skills, 'cause my left hand just ain't no good with my cooter.
Gypsy: I give 'perversion' a bad name. I'll do more blog porn, I promise. Might make for better posts, who knows?
nice thing Mona.
I've done the hand trick almost at all the places i one can think of.
Its exciting as well as satisfying. and as of now i am wondering which blog you are talking about. please mention the name so that i may see that ass-tounding inviting blog to satisfy my male-self.
Reply me. ok
Of course, we all have. But then again, I usually feel a little sheepish after (as well as, ummm, nicely relieved.)
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