Tuesday, May 16, 2006


Do you believe in those things? To me, they’re only slightly more reliable than horoscopes, in that horoscopes are the fortune cookies of daily life and biorhythms at least chart by a number of factors, using some sort of voodoo witchcraft juju based on my exact birthday and not the birthdays of everyone in the same 30-day window.

But it’s all prolly bunk.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to believe in it, though.

So I’m down in “intellect”, down “emotionally”, and sliding down now “physically”. Fack.

Try it yerself.

I haven’t been myself the last few days, things are pissing me off in general. Not one big thing, just little things. Like:

1) People cutting me off in traffic and then I see there’s a wee little head in a carseat in the back, and I think, You pulled that shitty lane-change move with your kid in the car?
2) Girl-child has ruined every pair of jeans she owns by crawling around in the rocks on the playground. She looks like the Little Matchgirl in her hole-y pants. I’m tired of patching them and refuse to spend $20 to buy her one new pair that she will, inevitably, ruin the first day.
3) The toilet hates me. Don’t ask.
4) I’m due a salary review and the boss is conveniently either gone or putting it off. Said salary review will produce the minimal increase in salary which will NOT make up for the increased insurance costs we were saddled with starting last month. ($50 more a month for the same coverage…at least we have insurance but DAMN.)
5) The internets is hating me.
6) Boy-child is wrestling with his inner demons, trying to grow balls/spine to confront a bad kid in his class and also his art teacher, who gave bad kid Boy-child’s art project by mistake. I’m wrestling my own demon trying not to run interference with art teacher and ‘make it all better’. Trying to teach self-confidence is hard.
7) It’s been raining every goddamn day for what, 10 days? And expected to rain every day through Sunday at least.
8) Poor body image. Not helped by checking out my naked body in the full length mirror OR finding new gray hairs sproinging from the top of my head.
9) At work, I feel useless. Not much to do, and ideas I have to make more money/save money are gently put aside in a pile by the management czars, to never be looked at again.
10) Summer’s coming and I want all three months off…paid, with benes. HAH.

I need a stupid movie. I need to watch something inane and funny and side-splitting, like “Jackass: The Movie”, or “Dodgeball”, or “Tommy Boy”. Have a pizza and a nap. Then win the lottery and flip off some people who deserve it.

Or I’ll just watch this again. Or even this.


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