Tuesday, August 08, 2006

You can watch yourself while you are eating

1) Pinky reminded me of The English Beat and now I have that song in my head…which I love, but apparently I have a problem with misheard lyrics...I always thought it was "Mirror in the bathroom please don't freak", but it's "please talk free"...I like MY version better…. Don't you have a misheard lyric in your head that's better that way?

2) I left a comment somewhere today and the word verification was “VRLPW”. Now it struck me as funny because in my college days, one of my roommates read some Penthouse Forum-like thing that euphemistically used the phrase “Vein-Riddled-Love-Prod” for the boy-part. VRLP. VRLPW. Gawd, that’s all I need, to be thinking about THAT all day….

3) The kids’ Awesome Gorgeous Babysitter called in sick this morning, which threw my schedule clean off. We had to get the kids out of bed and dressed and washed and fed, make lunches, call the day camp and see if they could squeeze them in today with no notice (yes, the answer was yes, and I owe them big-time), get swimsuits and towels around, shoes, backpacks, water bottles, race them there, VOTE goddammit, post office, and here I am, with a headache the size of Rush Limbaugh’s ego. Urgh. I need a job with summers off, that’s it, summers off and lots of vacations.

4) Guess what I had for breakfast today? Nope…nope…you’ll never guess. I had two lovely Ryvita crackers (very healthy) and one whole can of Armour Potted Meat, (made with chicken and beef). Here’s my justification: It cost 27 cents (no lie). It was only 140 calories. It had no carbs and 11 grams of protein. Okay, yes, it also had 17% of my daily fat and a third of my daily sodium, but what the hell. Plus, I love trashy food. Potted meat (best on white bread with mayo and maybe a slice of Mer-kun cheese), Spam, sugar sandwiches, cheap snack cakes…bring in ON.


At 12:53 PM, Blogger Pisser said...

I love "I Can't Go for Rats" by Hall & Oats, "I Am a Papaya!" by Nine Inch Nails, "PISTACHIO!" by The Rolling Stones, and "My Anus is the Center Hole" by J. Geils Band ;)

At 2:02 PM, Blogger Faith said...

It just says "food product" on the can. That's all they can find to say about it besides the name across the top.

You might be able to join Maine in his new NASCAR explorations with admissions such as consumption of "potted meat" (???) and Spam, Mona. You guys have both successfully caused me to sit back, stare at the screen, and wonder if I truly know you at all, anymore. You're scaring me, is the thing. Quit it.

Please. :)

At 3:15 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Pisser: Stop it, stop it! That J. Geils thing has me squirting pee...!

Faith: Come into the fold, come, dear Faith...we will sit back in our LazyBoys with cans of potted mystery meat and 6-packs of Bud, watching NASCAR and reality television...it's goooooood.... Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya.... ;-)

At 8:39 PM, Blogger Lucia said...

Thinking about potted meat...I almost stopped at the Spam Museum in Minnesota today...but then I didn't.

At 8:41 PM, Blogger Lucia said...

PS: Did you REALLY eat it...or just fake eat it for the blog value?

UTPGA! (That's my word vertification, but it sounds like a hearty toast for someone who ate potted meat.)


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