Monday, April 09, 2007

Because I’m a %&$*#^! Crybaby, That’s Why

I feel like total, utter, and complete crap. That little tickle in my throat last week has turned into one of those horrendous spring cold/allergy/whatevers that makes breathing impossible. Sleep more impossible. Clear-headed thinking unthinkable.

I’m quaffing copious amounts of tea this morning hoping it will open me up so I don’t have to mouth-breathe all day.

Yes, yes, I should be home in bed.

Should.

I should also have won the lottery a few weeks ago.

But that ain’t a-happenin’.

Got work to do and my OB to call (ovaries are totally overrated) and my headlights to get fixed and kids to run around and oh yeah, my boss to pounce on as he gets back from his 10-day vacation and meanwhile all hell broke loose with his pet project and thanksahellovalot, dude.

I’m sorry. Now I’m just ranting. I don’t mean to take it out on you. We only hurt the ones we love, right?

Could you at least give me some suggestions how to make it through the day? Is there some magic concoction I can mix up using office supplies and bad coffee and Monday Morning donuts that will give me the energy I need to make it through? Or some chant or other I can rock to? A bit of Magik you can throw my way? Good juju? A good slap in the face?

15 Comments:

At 10:12 AM, Blogger patches said...

Are you referring to headlights literally? That word doesn't appear after OB in any statement unless there's a booby smash in your future. If you need a laugh take a look at this....but don't turn the volume up too loud.......oh, yeah, and drink coffee

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger meno said...

Whining helps. Carry on.

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Patches: LOVED that mashup! Thanks! That made my day! I own that Bloodhound Gang cd...it's called "Hooray for Boobies".... I will now abandon tea and head for the coffee machine.

Meno: It did make me feel better. That and a massage from Raoul the poolboy.

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger Gordo The Geek said...

Do you folks have Cold-FX down there? It's this great, herbally-based, medication that truly does help relieve colds. After some extensive testing, Health Canada allowed them to make the claim on the label. It really works.

I know it works because I'm on my sixth cold of the winter. It doesn't cure the cold so much as press fast-forward on it. I spent yesterday moping around the house with loaded sinuses and a throat that felt like I had gargled molten glass. Today, I'm breathing and only slightly raspy.

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Listen to the Canuck, Gordo! It works. Tried Echinachia...or is that Euthanasia? Oh well, I know the last one works! HA!
Eat some more of your Easter Bunny!

 
At 3:25 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

Dayquil. Dayquil will make you feel like you are running on two sugar highs while fuzzing up your head just enough to make you breathe.

 
At 6:36 PM, Blogger jo(e) said...

I had the bad cold last week. My solution was to make everyone around me miserable.

Well, if I am feeling bad, everyone else should too, right?

I hope you start feeling better soon!

 
At 4:33 AM, Blogger dharmabum said...

gooseberries and turmeric (hope u figure out what both mean!) taken daily are very effective anti-allergants. in any case, they aren't chemicals and so can't cause much harm!

my sis, who is also prone to allergy, is now in texas and is having hell bcoz of all the haze. she has been advised the same and though i might share it with u :)

 
At 8:28 AM, Anonymous d-man said...

We have ethanol at work. That helps me...

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger gr said...

Whiskey, Mona. Straight or any other way you like it, also lemonade and pizza. Spread them around your bed, close to hand, and do nothing.

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger JoeinVegas said...

Chocolate. Always keep chocolate on hand.

 
At 1:04 PM, Blogger Nancy Dancehall said...

Well, I can get you through the night (heh). Vics vapor rub on the bottoms of your feet, covered in socks. Seriously. Try it.

 
At 10:35 PM, Blogger Cynical Girl said...

I know what will make it all better: snow!

Oh wait, I'm kidding. Christ, when will GOOD SPRING be here?

 
At 5:55 PM, Anonymous My Side Of The Bed said...

If you are still feeling bad, red bull and vodka always seems to give my heart a jumpstart.

Blake

 
At 11:29 PM, Blogger Teri said...

Curry. really hot spicy indian curry. Or Thai food.

 

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