Friday, November 30, 2007

A Pain in The….

Sergei threw his back out yesterday. In a weird and unexpected way. Poor thing was hobbling around last night, even to Important Local Government Function, and I could tell it was hurting. He dosed up with meds, but nothing seemed to work.

This morning, by the time I drug my sorry ass to work, my own back had seized up something fierce, and neither caffeine nor ibuprofen is helping. Not even that cat-cow yoga stretching thing. Not even visualizing the pain away.

Are back problems contagious? I mean, when Sergei’s back was in bed last night, could the Back Germs have crawled over to me and attached themselves to my spine with their tentacle-like pinchers?

Or.

Maybe.

It was because when I crawled in bed last night, bare-ass nekked except for socks on my chilly feet, I tuned in to a show on Discovery Health Channel that had the coolest 3-D x-ray spec pictures of sex, sexual organs, sexual whatnot, which consequently led my imaginative brain to carry out dreams wherein I was swinging on a sex trapeze, in the middle of a forest, all light green like an old photo, with various folks walking around in states of undress and arousal, and...finding myself in bed this morning in the most contorted position ever?

8 Comments:

At 2:15 PM, Blogger Faith said...

Only you, Mona, would have sex dreams that would *actually* cause you to throw out your back. You're my idol. *Mwah!*

Get some heating pads and try to hunker down for the weekend. Hope you're doing well! (Beside the back thing, I mean...:))

 
At 3:10 PM, Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Well, that has been known to cause back pain!! There are so many things that cause back pain, I believe we were never meant to walk on two feet (bipedal?)but still be on all-fours! Way less stress that way. It so hurts me to get up in the morning and then after awhile it's better. (I have to write my name in my husband's appt book so that he can see me and fix my back..otherwise, it doesn't happen after hours.)

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger meno said...

Oh! A sex dream injury. I hate it when that happens.

 
At 6:54 PM, Blogger Irrelephant said...

What a gorgeous, surreal image!

 
At 8:33 PM, Anonymous CoffeeDrinkingWoman said...

What Faith said!

 
At 10:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous, too said...

It could have been a bit of both!

Sergei was uncomfortable, so I bet he was tossing and turning, trying to keep his back happy. Sleeping Mona tries to adjust to this while having an erotic dream that would have resulted in some squirming anyway.

Result: two sore backs in need of hot showers, heating pads, and lots of painkillers.

I recommend bourbon.

 
At 12:05 AM, Blogger Laurie said...

Knowing that he threw out his back on the toilet makes me wonder what kind of crazy stuff happens in that house.

There is a novel in there somewhere. I know it.

 
At 3:02 AM, Blogger Pisser said...

I fell in the toilet and broke the seat, NOT with my butt, but because someone left the cockamaimie seat up, so I broke it with my back.

Hope that makes you feel better.

(Maybe it's the cold? Always makes me stiff. Try a hot bath or those Thermacare thingies that stick to your back - they stay hot for 8 hrs., Woo hoo.)

 

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