Prude

I went to dinner with some fellow soccer-moms last Saturday, and we decided as a group that not only were we taking a Cardio Striptease class starting next month, but that one woman in our group HAD to throw a sex-toy party and invite us.

A couple of the moms said they'd attend, but that they'd never bought anything like that, and would they be embarrassed?

Wuh.

Well?

First of all?

I can't believe these women, in their early 40s or later, have Never (ever? never?) had a sex toy. Maybe it's me, maybe it's my childhood experimentation with barbie dolls and stuffed animals and a general sense of self-absorption and some quiet time alone in my bedroom to explore my yoni. I loves me some sex toys (I keep 'em in the 'special toy box' in the top of the closet, yo, so's the kiddos don't find 'em), and most of my good girlfriends do too.

Maybe it's my general liberal attitude towards sex...you should live together before you get married, and why not sleep together before the ring goes on your finger...you wouldn't buy shoes without trying them on first, right?

Oh yeah...and it's okay to masturbate. It's almost necessary. To find out what you like. To never have to depend on someone else to fulfill that desire. You won't go blind. You're not a slut. Yesh, you will still want to jump your significant other. And you'll have a much healthier sex life.

I'm sort of looking forward to the soirée...to see how the non-toy women react. To see what happens when the host breaks open those shrink-wrapped packages and out emerges Big Blue, with the variable speeds and the realistic vein-age. To act as Instructor when Ruth leans over to me, blushing, and asks, "Bu...but...what do I DO with it?" And I get to tell her in graphic detail what she can do, and should do, as soon as she gets home with the thing.