Wednesday, June 04, 2008


Irrelephant issued a challenge…use the word PRONG in a post.

Well, that’s too juicy to argue with!

I’ve been thinking all morning about clothes.

Not prongs. Not...exactly.

Follow me here.

I’ve become keenly aware of what other women are wearing. Which is a new thing for me. I used to not care what other people wore. I used to be more punk rock. More edgy, more torn-shirt, more men-boxers-as-shorts. More DIY. More…something…unique. Slightly weird, perhaps…winking and showing my tatas in a too-low-top, pronging guys in the butt with my finger, making sly comments to my girlfriends about threesomes.

Now I could be one of those Capris-and-scoop-neck-shirt women modeling in the JCPenneys catalog. Holding a 2-pronged BBQ spork over a grill, pointing at a pile of raw t-bones, smiling like I can’t wait til the kids go to bed and I can curl up with a pile of coupons to clip. Bland and staid and ready to carpool.

What. The. Hell. Happened?

NOW I get what David Byrne was talking about!

I want my edge back, dammit, and I want it NOW. I want to be able to swear when I talk and not feel guilty. I want to buy clothes in the Juniors section. I want to be able to drink again, Really Drink, not to the point of puking, but just to the point of a slight hangover the next day. I want to write something scary and fun, self-publish something just because I can. I want to learn to draw. I want a fast red car that thumps the ground wherever I idle. I don’t get it…Me, wearing conservative clothes, while the only “cool” mom I know wears cute little tattoo-encrusted tops and low-slung jeans that cling to her ass…I’m jealous. Inside I'm all college-radio-and-Juxtapoz, but outside I'm like every other soccer mom. Grrr....

Will someone prong me with a fork? And get my ass moving? Maybe to the Juniors section?


At 8:43 AM, Blogger Irrelephant said...

"Prong" AND "spork" in the same post. You are a true wordsmith, Mona! As for the pronging and poking (I almost wrote "porking, it rhymed a lot nicer") well, not sure about all that. Maybe you just got tired of the effort it takes to be different?

I wore my hair long for some 15 years, like halfway-to-my-arse long. Had to cut it for a job and realised that crewcuts don't take a lot of WORK. I swore mighty oaths before pagan gods that I'd never wear anything but Levis red-tab jeans and white lace-up sneakers in public, but just this weekend I found myself in Wal-Mart in a pair of khaki cargo shorts and sandals and a pale green t-shirt. I could have been any frat boy off the street except for the silver hair and the dashing moustache.

I think we're just getting tired, Mona. *lol*

At 8:44 AM, Blogger gr said...

I think you're pretty damn edgy, at least as you portray yourself or write. But in real life? I can see how the real husband and kids and soccer practices could put the chill on your cool. Maybe you and Sergei should plan a little role playing later...he can be your Billy Idol to your Deborah Harry....

At 4:45 PM, Blogger your fiend, mr. jones said...

Why stay in college, why go to nightschool?

"Stop Making Sense" played every weekend at The River Oaks Theatre in Houston Tx., in 1986-7 and I danced until I cramped (appr. 5min.)almost every week there.

Parts of that movie still plays on my eyelids, when I close my eyes at night.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger meno said...

A love prong offering most worthy.

I have always been, and remain, a t-shirt and jeans sort of woman.

At 6:48 AM, Blogger Maggie said...

I know what you mean.

At 8:51 PM, Blogger Sanjay said...

I hear ya. Maybe we all slow down with time? ;)

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Nancy Dancehall said...

Rant on, baby! :-D


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