Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Dude Looks Like a Lady

(The first time I heard this song, I thought Steven Tyler was singing "Do me like a lady", and then I spent an inordinant amount of time wondering if he really did have a vagina.)

We need more drag queens.

All my locals have r-u-n-n-o-f-t.

I'm filling the void with Eddie Izzard DVDs and fantasies of Tim Curry in RHPS. (Damn, I mean, how can you not get hot at that scene where Frank-N-Furter comes down in the elevator, and you see his fuck-me-pumps first, thumping the 'vator floor, and the fishnets, OMG. Yes. I KNOW he's gay. Doesn't matter, totally doesn't matter.)

It's really too bad for you gents. Unless you're a holy man, or Kurt Cobain, or play the bagpipes really well, you can't publicly enjoy the feeling of rayon skirts whisking by your newly-shaved calves, or cross your legs in a restaurant and enjoy the stares of patrons as they ogle your muscular thighs, or do that Marilyn Monroe subway-blowing-up-your-skirt thing. Heck, even flash your boobies for beads.

Poor little puppies.

I do believe that the biggest drag queen influences on my life have been Bugs Bunny, the collective Monty Python cast, and Milton Berle. Yeah, sure, they weren't exactly gorgeous (but if you ever saw 'Some Like It Hot', you'll know Tony Curtis WAS HAWT), but they were a delish taboo.

Any a you guys wanna dress in drag and do the hula for me, send me a photo, I'll give you a little somp-in'-somp'in in return. Maybe a photo of me in tidy whities with a sock stuffed down theah.


At 10:59 AM, Blogger gypsy said...

I once dressed my (ex) boyfriend up as Frankenfurter for Halloween. I went as Magenta. But he was way sexier than I was. And his legs looked great in fishnets and heels.


At 2:32 PM, Blogger Used Hack said...

"You better work." - Rupaul

At 7:14 PM, Blogger Colleen said...

This is my first visit to your are absolutely hysterical.

I'll be back again to read!

At 7:31 PM, Blogger Cynical Girl said...

Mona, I'm in need of a good local hair colorist. Can you drop me a line with a salon recommendation?? I'll drive, and I'll spend. I'm desperate.

At 10:56 PM, Blogger Mona Buonanotte said...

Gypsy: I worked with a guy who dressed as a woman one Halloween, and you wouldn't believe the number of guys who were DROOLIN' over him, before they realized...GAK!'s Dan! (But they still wanted to grab his ass....)

Used Hack: You're one I'd LOVE to see in fishnets.

Colleen: Welcome!

Cynical Girl: Stay tuned....

At 5:15 PM, Blogger Marcheline said...

Ever seen the movie "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"?

If you thought Tim Curry was hot, you'd totally cream over this dude... AND he can SING!

(listening for the squeal of tires as mona heads out for the local Ballbuster Video store...)

- M

At 5:16 PM, Blogger Marcheline said...

P.S. I demand that you post the tidy whities with sock photo, regardless of whether any penis-toters send you drag pix.


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